Liar, Lover, Lunatic

16 - Flesh and Blood

He grabbed me in his arms in the blink of an eye, crushing my chest and almost yanking out my IVs and feeding tube. He took my face in his hands, murmuring 'Mi Amor!' like a mantra, covering me with kisses and crying at the same time. I knew those hands by heart – I could draw you a map of his palm, the life lines and heart lines, the tiny knife scar he'd gotten at the age of six.

He babbled prayers in Italian for a good 3 minutes, thanking all the greater and lesser angels, the saints, the Blessed Virgin. He might have said 10 Hail Marys if I hadn't found the strength to slap him in the face. Honestly, I was completely at a loss on knowing what to feel. I was deliriously happy to be back in my body, furious that he'd done nothing to stop Octavio from killing me, perplexed that he was planning on marrying Maricela, enraged that he'd continued to be an assassin, and joyful to have him in my arms and remember how safe I'd always felt in them. But now?

"What...what was that for, amato mio? I am looking at un miracolo, you are awake and warm and in my arms..."

His smile was brighter than any Moon God's, his shoulders broader than any archangel's. His strong jaw, his nose untouched by any teenage fights, his eyes shone with relief and happiness and pure testosterone-fueled desire. I wanted to get lost in them. Did I? No. No, I didn't.

The words came before I could stop them. "I know about Octavio. Your kissing cousin. And the planned marriage with Maricela. Were you going to have ours annulled? I remember falling, Gio. I remember you had your eyes closed. I remember just enough of hitting the sidewalk to tell you that the last thing I remember is pain. Why is that? What did I do to deserve that?"

I watched his joy fall from his face. I'd verbally gut-punched him. His expression was blank. I'd just wanted the truth, spoken from his lips.

"Just... Gio, just tell me why?" I said quietly. I drank some water that Paddy had brought in for himself earlier. I watched as Amaterasu, Baile, Erin and Khonsu all manifested in different areas of the room. Perhaps as witnesses to his confession? Or maybe, just maybe, to give me support?

"All you had to do was tell me what was going on with the families. I would have disappeared, you know that, right? We talked about the possibility that we might one day have to break up, because of your work. Why did you have Octavio kill me? And why did you kill him?"

He was sobbing, very quietly. Pushing through my anger, because I love him, I began to stroke his thick, black hair. That broke him, I think, because he stopped sobbing and stood up. I had thought the worst of Gio, back in the restaurant. I had imagined him to be a monster.

Gio walked over and looked out the window. "An assassin cannot have a weak spot – something, or someone he values more than life, more than family. Papa knew that, if you were alive, I would always come back to you. It would disgrace the family. It would be unfair to Maricela, and disrespectful to whatever children we might have. And you...you are my weak spot. I was given a choice – I could kill you myself, or I could hire someone in the family to make it look like an accident."

He knelt in front of me. He wasn't crying, but he didn't need to be. He was shaking instead. "I told Papa I would do it myself, to make him think I was stronger than he thought I was. But I lied.

I asked Tavi to do it. So, after your fall, he and I were doing it when I killed him, right as we were climaxing. Then a madness took me, and I cut out his heart, because he didn't kill you."

"Gio, stop. I know about Archangel Michael. I know he's been abusing you. And he abused Octavio in the same way. You don't have to lie. Michael blackmailed him to kill me."

His eyes opened wide. "How could you possibly know...you're crazy. It must be your medications."

"I was there. I saw him violate you. I watched you come. I was a ghost, Gio. You couldn't see me. He said he'd kill both of us if you didn't follow his orders!"

"I want nothing to do with that demonio Michael! Amato mio, all I want is a home with a farm, a ristorante, and you. Since I met you, that is all I've ever wanted. No more killing. I'll volunteer on weekends at a hospital. The Castello is nice, but it's nothing without you. Maricela offered once to bear us both children, do you remember?"

I nodded. I did remember. For weeks after, I'd dreamt of two kids playing together, a Christmas with children of our own. I'd pushed it far in the back of my mind. Reality set in, and it remained a dream. It was then I looked at the Gods and remembered what lay ahead. And it was then that I admitted to myself that I would never stop loving Gio. Was he perfect? No. But he came damned close.

"There's a war coming between the Irish and Italian Mafias and the Yakuza," I told an astonished Gio.

"How...how do you know this? No one outside the family knows this!" Gio stared at me, unbelieving.

"I have friends in high places, mio stallone. Very high places." Tsuku started chuckling, Erin giggled, Amaterasu and Khonsu shook their heads, and Baile just roared. "And how long must I bear the insult of you not considering me as part of your family?"

"Oisin, I never meant to..." he began, but I cut him off. The old me would never have done that. I'd been semi-dead, visited Heaven (or Hell) and spoken with Gods and Angels. That changes you a bit, don't you think?

"Yes, you do. I am part of the family. And even though it's one fucked-up family of mafioso and assassins, most of them love you and you love them back. Some are saints and some are on America's Most Wanted list. If you don't consider me a part of all of them, then neither will they! Capisci?"

He laughed. I've heard Gods laugh, and I'd take Gio's over theirs any day.

"One more thing," I said, my voice more serious. "Don't tell anyone that I've recovered. No outbursts of joy. Don't even tell Maricela, okay?"

"I swear on your uncle's remaining teeth," he said.

"I heard that, you gobshites!" my uncle hollered.

"Eat your gelato!" I bellowed, and then began refamiliarizing myself with Gio's lips and other much missed body parts, despite my body's stiffness. It was painful at first, but then – isn't it always?