Who Can Save Charlie Rose? [hiatus]

icarus

I unlocked the door to the townhome and pushed it open. Music filtered through the walls from Delaney's room. With a sigh, I dropped my bag down in the entryway and beelined straight for my bedroom, passing Carson's ajar door.

The ants were crawling under my skin again, and I was barely able to focus. My attention span was thinner than thread and my entire being screamed for that euphoric feeling. I produced my bag of saviors from my bedside table, noticing the quantity had diminished by quite a bit.

"That fucker," I growled. I popped 2 and chewed, swirling the bitter powder with my saliva and a gulp of water.

I was still cursing my thieving boyfriend when my door was thrown open. A cracking sound shook from behind me, metal slamming into drywall. I whipped around, face twisted in a look of annoyance, and was met with a hallowed Carson, sporting a black eye and a split lip.

He was sniffling and his eyes were bright red, bloodshot to hell. He slid down to the ground against my door frame, as if he was a melting snowman. His pitiful sniffs caused an ache to grow in my chest.

"Carson, what- what happened?" I approached him slowly.

"Where were you," he whispered, staring dead into my soul. "Where?"

"I- I was just out- I stayed at my parent's house and-" I stammered, reaching up to touch his split lip.

He slapped my hand away. "I was worried. I didn't know where you were, and you weren't answering the phone. You never do that, Charlie."

I flinched backwards. He never called me Charlie. "I'm sorry, Carson, I just had a rough day."

He didn't respond. Finally, he allowed me to touch his busted lip. I kissed above his black eye, then his lips. He sniffled and sniveled against me.

"What happened, Carson? Who did this?"

"...did," he mumbled incoherently.

"Speak up."

"I did," Carson shouted. His hands planted themselves on my shoulders and shoved me back. He stood up, gaining the height advantage. All I could do was look up at him as fear gripped my heart. "I couldn't find you, no one knew where you were. Nguyen said you were out sleeping with some bitch-"

"C-Carson, it was just dinner with a friend!" My voice was squeaky, choked. My mind was spinning and my fight-or-flight instincts were battling within it. The amphetamines had started to kick in- I was becoming increasingly angry. But I also felt vulnerable, scared of the towering man.

"I love you so much, Charlie Rose," he cried down at me, raw and ragged. "And you keep running off, doing all this shit- it drives me crazy! I love you. I gave you a reason to live Charlie! You said so yourself, so why do you keep pushing me away?"

I shook my head violently, desperate to quiet him. "No. No, no, no. It's not like that!"

His rough hand gripped my jaw and forced me to look into his manic, flat brown eyes. "Thom told me what she looked like. It was one of those assholes who left you, huh? The reason why you came running to us."

I couldn't speak anymore. Tears ran down my face and blurred my vision. Carson's hold grew tighter and I whimpered.

"Remember, Charlie," he seethed. "I was there for you when they left you. They decided to leave you. I haven't left you, have I, Rosie?"

"N-No," I admitted weakly.

And it was true, he hadn't left me. He was the only constant in my life until we met Delaney. He took me under his wings, showed me what it felt like to truly be alive again.