UNCHARTED WATERS -A Love Poem Of Mine

The Poem

I'm confused about my feelings for him.

I like him 'cause I know I enjoy being near his presence.
I like him 'cause I know I get nervous being in close proximity with him.
I like him 'cause I know my heart beats faster when I ride the motorcycle with him and longs for every other chance to ride with him.
I like him 'cause I know I enjoy bickering and talking to him.

I admire his skills in knowing which things to do and expertly handling them. I admire him even when he messes up cause then I know it's alright to mess up, because even reliable guys can mess up as well.
I admire his strength in the way he could hold his own to heavy technical things.

I admire his kindness to his friends, colleagues, little ones, and elder ones.
I admire his politeness in dealing with people older than him.

I adore watching him play with little kids. The way they seem happy to play with him. The way they are comfortable being with him. I adore his playfulness.

I adore his smile. While it may not be a perfect smile, I adore the way it brightens up his whole face and lit up the room. The way his eyes sparkles. The way he laughs easily to silly little things.

I adore how he would sometimes try to be a gentleman and open up the door for me-people.
I adore how wonderfully he plays the guitar.
I adore how he would make time to help his friends out.

I love his love for God. I love that we have the same wonderful God watching over His children with love in His eyes.
I love his willingness to be a servant of God and helps during church sessions.

I love that we both love music. I love his artistic side that draws me in.
I love his reliableness (have I already said that-) in masterfully and confidently dealing with what he knows.
I love that he has friends around him that could help him when he needs it.

But,
I feel like it's wrong to like him cause my close friend used to like him as well.
And I know crushes don't go away that easily.

I can't help but feel like we can't ever be together and it isn't meant to be.
It feels like destiny is telling us we're not for eachother.
Like fate and society are against us being one.

I feel guilty that I can't help but to like-love him even though I know all that.
He's like the pull in the tide when I'm afraid of what lurks deep in the waters.

Maybe I'm just like the side character that fell in love with the male lead, knowing they can't have him cause he's not meant for them.

But you can't help but love him, even though it hurts.
Oh-I guess, I do love him.