L'appel du vide

I Hate It Here

I stare at my English book, my favorite lesson but seemingly I wasn't energy's favorite as I just couldn't write my essay when in my head I was dancing in a ball with some mystery man, that seemed so much more interesting than anything I could get out of doing an essay. When in my mind I could get anything I wanted why would I even bother with something that I'd get another lesson to finish? Even if I was on the third paragraph out of six required paragraphs about some book we read ages ago and still hadn't finished the essay on.

I was sitting in my chair in a classroom as usual, kids chatting about some party, gossiping, movies, clothes, some girls talking about vapes and that stuff. Talking about anything but the essay, not that I was one to criticize such a thing as I was internally ballroom dancing with some rich man named Thomas in some dreamy party with ladies in gowns and men in top hats. I felt homesick for a home I was never really in, I wasn't some young debutant Lady Vivian, nor was I a starlet in old Hollywood or anything of the sort but instead I was Vivian Adams and I was sitting in English trying to do anything other than paying attention; The essay I was half in the middle of writing didn't look that god really, I wonder how I was doing so bad in English right now (it may be because I haven't been paying attention to much of anything lately)

Then I hear Miss Dane say to pack up, finally I could go home and be in peace (I say this as though I wasn't just daydreaming the whole lesson), this sort of peace to me was having music on and just daydreaming more, maybe read a book or watch some tv show or movie. I grab my grey school bag and put my dull red English book in it and put on my pale pink cardigan and stand ready to go as I return to the ballroom with Thomas, dancing a brief waltz to Tchaikovsky before the final bell rings and I fade from my fantasy to walk home. A herd of teenagers leave the room desperate to leave for their weekend to begin, and I walked out calmly.

Chaos ensues in the hallways as usual as I see a boy get rugby tackled by some fat kid casually and girls walking together in a straight line as if they aren't walking slowly and causing traffic, I immediately dread going down the stairs and hope I don't get pushed down or something. My boots walk down the floor and approach the staircase, carefully stepping down the flights before finally getting to the ground floor and giving the world a relived sigh. And I get outside and hit by fresh air after spending all day inside.