Did I ever change?
Did I leave the old me behind?
Or is that shadow still following,
The echo of a darker mind?
Did I grow from where I started,
Or just learn to wear a mask?
Did I truly find redemption,
Or just hide from every task?
I look into the mirror,
But the reflection's always blurred.
The lines of my past choices
Seem to mix and seem to curve.
I talk about transformation,
About becoming something new,
But do I really know the difference
Between the lies and what is true?
Sometimes I feel like I'm shifting,
Like the ground beneath me shakes,
As if the growth I thought I had
Was just a mirage, a fake.
I used to think I was changing,
Becoming someone strong,
But now the question haunts me—
Did I just play along?
Did I ever change,
Or just grow tired of the fight?
Did I take the easy way,
Did I choose to dim my light?
I hope that I've evolved,
That I've found a better way,
But even as I move forward,
I'm scared I might just stay.
Stay in the patterns I know,
Stay in the comfort zone,
Stay where I can't be hurt,
Stay where I am alone.
So did I ever change,
Or am I just a new disguise?
A different face in the crowd,
But the same old weary eyes.
I want to believe in progress,
In the path that leads ahead,
But I can't ignore the feeling
That I'm walking back instead.
Perhaps I'll find the answer,
Or perhaps I never will.
But I'll keep asking the question,
Until my heart is still.