Lastspell Falls [A Skyrim Fanfiction}

Shadows of Doubt

Ogmund brews up some khaf as he runs me through exactly what he endured from the elves – because of me, I keep reminding myself. Because I'm too trusting.

Maybe Kerah was right. Maybe I should start to question how much faith I'm putting in the Thalmor.

It gives me a lot to think about as I finally return to Vlindrel Hall, a full hour later than I planned to. There's a formal invitation waiting for me when I get home, and Argis says it was dropped off by an altmer – which tells me exactly who sent it.

Brighid

I recognise my behaviour last night may have upset you more than intended. I expect to see you for dinner so we can resolve the issue.

Yours faithfully

Ondolemar

Could he be any more impersonal? I roll my eyes as I tuck the letter into the stack on the table. I was already planning to see him for dinner, but I'm not eager to have him in the house again. Last night...

I don't want to think about it, but the way he seemed to think he had run of the place bothered me. Like he respected me less than when Argis apparently had to kick him out. I think a good, long talk about boundaries is in order. But if we're back at the boundaries stage, what does that mean for our entire relationship? I thought we were progressing well, not that I've really got any idea on the standard markers of healthy human-elf relationships.

And now this information about Ogmund, the supposed torture and manipulation when we met for the very first time? I had thought he respected me right off the bat, but maybe I misread the entire situation.

Maybe he only likes me because I'm Dragonborn.

I hate that the idea comes to mind, but with everything now I can't really discredit it. I wish I could, because it would make things so much easier, but... I just can't.

So where does that leave us?

Even though I know this talk needs to happen, I still don't relish the idea of it. It would be nice to just enjoy a peaceful, pleasant meal together for once, without the worries of war or politics or even our relationship dragging things down, but I guess we won't ever really get that. I remember Kerah's comment, about how he's Thalmor and most folk wouldn't trust him as far as they could throw him.

I want to believe that's just an unfortunate side effect of his job. But after Ogmund's story, I'm not so sure anymore.

I decide to wear the new jewellery set for dinner, and find one of my nicer dresses to match it – the theme I'm going with looks like it's gonna be silver and blue. He's always in red and gold, and as I think about how our colours are going to clash, I smile to myself in the mirror – but it fades when I realise this is just highlighting another of our differences.

I just don't know where I stand with Ondolemar; I know things have been tense with him lately, but maybe he really is just worrying about me. And I don't know a lot about Altmer culture – maybe they're one of those cultures where men are typically seen as the provider/protector in the relationship. Not being able to fulfil that role might be the main reason he's so upset, and he just can't communicate that because of the godawful penchant for Thalmor being so stoic.

If it really does boil down to the whole gender stereotypes in the roles, he's going to have to adjust. I've been independent a long time, and I don't tend to follow any one person's rules unless they make sense. So maybe that's where we need to start. Setting boundaries so that he doesn't get in the way of my role as thane in, what, three holds now?