My Ring

The void

Krystal's POV

I felt like the part Bella did in the movie New Moon when she sat in the chair and watched the days blend into months. 

     I don't even remember what I did yesterday or the day before that. The only thing I can remember to do everyday is to feed, walk and watch Monty. If it wasn't for him , I probably would sit in this living room staring at the wall.

Everyone has been checking in on me , either being phone calls or coming to my house. But I decline them all and refuse to open the door, even for Dom. 

   I just can't think straight, or even talk to anyone without seeing them in my head.

Dom did come over to grab all of Demi's things that she left or that I had in the main bedroom. I completely remodeled my room, changing the bed to completely redesigning the walking closet. 

 Once what was a bright and simple room turned to a dark and gray room. It was beautiful, something that I was proud of but i never sleep in there. The feeling of something missing haunts me at night when I try to sleep there.

The night terrors still come every night but have grown worse since she's been gone, the constant feeling of paranoia creeping over my shoulders. 

I barely sleep anymore , laying in a personal hell that I don't even know if I could ever escape.

I hate her for everything she has ever done to me. From the first time hurting me in the ring almost over a year ago, to everything with Jazz, to now this. But why do I sit here and long for her, longing for her arms to wrap around me, longing for her lips to be on mine. I hate her , but god fucking damnit , I'm so in love with her.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard a soft but powerful knock against my door. I looked at my phone seeing no one has texted me about coming over, nor would my family have knocked. I heard Monty barking excitedly, jumping up and down.

"What are you so excited for big guy?" I walked over to the door, gently rubbing his head as I opened my door slowly. I was shocked to no one other than Buddy Matthew's there, holding a bag of food in his hands. His eyes stared into mine as he smiled softly. 

          "I'm sorry for showing up unexpectedly but I wanted to come check and see how you are doing." I could hear the sincerity in his voice as i opened the door more, letting Monty push through as I stepped outside.

"Would you like to sit down and talk. I brought you some food that I thought you'd like." He motioned to the bag which i smiled and took from him.

 "Thank you."

      I whispered , seeing his face look shocked but then softened.

"What are you doing here Buddy?" I asked him, placing the food down next to me as I crossed my arms against my chest. I saw him let out a deep sigh, like he was holding it the whole time.

     

      " I came to see how you are doing?" He said , sitting on the small ledge I have while he petted Monty. "Or is it just to tell Demi how I'm doing?" giving him a slight amount of sass as he shook his head in disagreement.

" I'm not here on her behalf. I'm not here to fix her mess or to tell you to get back with her. She's a big girl and she can do it herself." 

He looked at me with firmness in his voice and his face as I stood there with my mouth slightly open.

" I want to know how Krystal is because by the looks of it." He paused as he looked over at me. 

"You're not doing well." 

I nodded, walking over to sit next to him while we watched Monty in the front yard.