TX2 X READER)) If I killed someone for you

2 .

EVANS POV
I was walking home from school, my stomach was in knots my heart was broke but I was still happy? who is that (person). what are they to Y/N?.  I was honestly rushing to get home to take a shower I felt so icky from all the rain and plus there was black dye running down my face. today was horrible yet fucking amazing, Y/N knows who I am and they said I was cool!
I stepped up to the door to my house and opened the door, I threw my backpack next to the front door and headed upstairs. i sat down on my bed taking my converse off. when i sat down on the edge of the bed i felt a vibration, my phone got a text from an unknown number

(Unknown caller)
Number - "Hey ev its Y/N :))"
Holy shit I thought that they'd forget
Evan - "hey Y/N! How are you??"
I didn't want to come off as clingy.
Y/N - "I'm doing absolutely awesome sauce wbuu"
Evan - "Lmaoo that's good, I'm doing fine :)" I typed that out knowing damn well I'm not okay, Y/N has my whole world tied in their fingers right now.
Y/N - "that's great! Wyd??"
Evan - "I was just about to take a shower wyd?"
Y/N - "oh sorry for bothering you. I'm on the bus rn"
Evan - "what no your not bothering me?"
Y/N - "hehe Okie dokie well ima go now, wanna call later when I get home??"
Evan - "ofc!"

I was still smiling like an idiot as I proceeded to grab some clothes from my dress before getting in the shower, long showers are one of the few things that can help me relax. As the black dye drips down my silky flesh I grab a towel and dry off. I put on some sweatpants and a big T shirt that I've had for a few years. It had a hole or two in it and maybe some bleach from a year or two ago but I don't care tbh.

my phone started ringing I assumed it was Y/N face-timing me. I pulled my shirt down and fix my hair before answering, I was nervous I have liked Y/N for so long and they just randomly decided they wanted to talk to me

Y/N- HII!
Y/N waved at the camera they were so cute, they had headphones in
Evan - hii Y/N!
Y/N - wydd?
Evan - I just got out of the shower
I cut off my speaker since when I shower I like to listen to music, tbh I live music and one day I hope to make some
Y/N - what were you listening to?
Evan - uhh I don't think you'd like it-
Y/N - I'm full of surprises, tell me!!
Evan - (too lazy to find out his fav band)
Y/N - OMMGGGG
Y/N squealed
Y/N THATS MY FAVORITE BANDDDDD!
Evan - REALLY THATS AWESOME
Y/N - you know I heard their going on tour
Evan - what are you trying to say Y/N
Y/N - we should totally go together!! It would be so much fun
Evan - Y/N I don't think I really have the money?.
Y/N - well I'd pay for it duhh? My idea my treat
Y/N smiled
Evan - are you sure? I'm sure they're expensive.
Y/N - idcc your my new best friend
my emotions were fucking with me. BAD
Evan - I'm down but I don't wanna be the reason you spend a whole bunch of money on a concert
Y/N - money comes and goes plus we're all gonna die one day might as well live while we can ?
Evan - you uncomfortably have a point
Y/N giggled as we started talking about just stupid stuff, turns out Y/N has a younger brother and a brother and sister that lives in Sydney, they're so cool and I'm so grateful to have them in my life. they have a (significant other) which is the (person) I seen earlier, when Y/N started talking about them I just smiled nervously. It hurt me. But there's nothing I can do I can't even blame them.

(And hour or two later)
Y/N - hey ev ima go buy the tickets!
Evan - awesome I'll talk to you later
Y/N - bye!!

Y/N ended the call which made me sad but. IM GOING TO SEE MY FAVORITE BAND WITH MY CRUSH!! I can't believe it I've been so caught up with my emotions I forgot how grateful I should be for Thais to be happening, it feels like the world is moving so fast around me and I'm just stuck in the same position thinking of the same (person/ Y/N) I don't think they could ever like me more than a friend I just wish I was more, I don't think I am enough.

I turn off all the lights in my room and turn on my tv to the news which made me burn in anger

RANDY MCNALLY BLAH BLAH BLAH BILL LEE BLAH BLAH BLAH DRAG SHOWS BLAH BLAH (ect)

I grabbed my notebook and a pencil, I wanted to express my feelings since I had no one to talk to but I decided I was gonna write a song instead, I usually make rap music but it haven't gone very well everyone in school makes fun of me and I guess now I'm the SoundCloud kid. I dragged my pencil along the paper forming the song Randy McNally. I turned on some music then turned the volume on low placing my notebook next to my bed on my dresser, I got under the covers and grabbed a pillow to hug. I was 100% touch starved rn.

why doesn't Y/N like me? Can I do anything for them to like me?? I'm nothing compared to their (Significant Other) I love everything about Y/N, the way they do their hair, the way their eyes glosses when you speak to them, they way they dress, they way they- you know what you get it. I'm a hopeless romantic. I just like a psychopath saying all this, not half wrong anyway though. Would you like me if I looked like (person)?would you love me more if I was mentally stable? ...fuck- would you love me more if I killed someone for you?

WRITERS NOTE!!
I'm sorry this took so long I spent two days writing this and it still feels bad and unfinished as a chapter 😭😭
if u have any ideas I can add into the story lmkk!
I love you have a good day and please eat/drink

LOVE YOUU 🫶🏻🫶🏻
-Lily