Second Thoughts

Realizations

After spending the whole day with Namjoon, Jin went back to his suite at the Grand Hotel. The incredibly large room felt empty in comparison to Namjoon's crowded apartment. Jin felt almost awkward entering, now that he thought of his hotel suit as "too spacious", "too silent", and maybe even "dull". But before he could indulge in his feelings of solitude a voice him from the living room.

"You're finally back!" Taehyung greeted his brother, sitting on the black couch in front of the TV. "I was starting to think you forgot about game night."

This was enough to bring Jin out of his momentary slump. "What? How could I game night? it's the one night where I get to wipe the floor with you," Jin smiled.  

"Yeah right! I want to see you try," Taehyung clapped and clicked on FIFA Sports on the PlayStation. "I call Argentina," He gave his brother a boxy smile, reserved for only happy occasions in private settings like this one.

 Jin grabbed his respective control; and without skipping a beat, started the game. In the first minute, Taehyung scored a goal and by the time they got to the half-time break, the score was 6-0 in favour of Tae.

 "What's going on with you? You're not concentrating." Taehyung threw the control on the coffee table. "This offends me, you're offending me and game night."

Jin scratched the top of his head feeling caught. "yeah sorry, it's just... my mind is somewhere else,"

"and where is it?" Taehyung prompted, noticing how discouraged Jin appeared to be.

Jin sighed. "I lost Namjoon. He's quitting for real this time."

Taehyung blinked twice, not understanding why this was such a throw-off. He took a second to look at his brother, only to see he was actually being serious. 

Taehung took a deep breath, knowing he had to play therapist instead of soccer player. "Alright, and why is that such a bad thing?"

"I, I just think it's a shame, you know?" Jin got comfortable on the couch, leaning back and holding onto the remote as if it were a stuffed animal. "I've come to rely on him for everything, and I trust him completely, and he's funny." he paused. "Not deliberately, of course. But he knows how to make me laugh..."

"Hey, you sound like he's the only one that can do that and he's not," Taehyugn stated bluntly. "Plus, it's probably for the best that he's finally leaving."

Jin tilted his head. "Oh yeah? why is that?"

Taehyung shuffled on the couch, closing the space between them, like he was the host of a Drew Barrymore interview. "Two things I know are soccer and gay men." he enumerated with his hand.

Jin nodded but quickly furrowed his eyebrows with confusion. "But I'm not gay,"

"Oh please,"

"I was literally married to Suzy, and I cheated on her with another girl!"

 Taehyugn rolled his eyes, "Okay, fine... you might not be gay, but he is."

"I don't think so-"

"We're digressing!" Taehyung interrupted. "So, Soccer; it has rules, players, strategies, a goalie, a centre-back, a mid-field, you know? They move in predictable patterns. Somebody wins, somebody loses. But men?" Tae paused, looking at his brother dead in the eye. 

"We have no rules, Jin. We are unpredictable, in unpredictable ways too! Nobody ever wins or loses when it comes to us... we just push and push, and avoid talking about our feelings until it's the only thing left to talk about. And this applies especially to the smart ones like Namjoon."

Jin looked worried but nodded. "I'm guessing this advice comes from that one experience with Jimin-"

Taehyung scoffed sarcastically. "Jimin has nothing to do with this situation. Point is, he's unpredictable, and so are you. It's better for the company if you find someone else"

Jin sighed and nodded. If everyone kept saying what a good choice it was to let him go, then what was the point of fighting for him to stay?

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Namjoon sat in the restaurant with Jin, having lunch while discussing resumes. The table was full of dishes and side dishes. Of course, the lawyer was really invested in who would take his place, but Jin was lost in thought in his world. He was too busy munching a piece of samgyeop-sal (Korean pork belly). 

"Bang Christopher Chang, and Mark Lee, I think those are the best prospects for my replacement. Ooh, wait, what about Park Sung-hoon? he graduated from Enhypen Trade School of Law."

Jin furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. "No, no, no. It's got to be a woman." He said taking some fried squids from Namjoon's side of the table.

"What a surprise." Namjoon side-eyed the CEO. "I suppose you're also going for a specific look. Maybe ask them for some bathing suit shots along with their resume?"

Jin chuckled. "It will annoy Taehyung if it's a woman. That's the only reason why."

"Oh," Namjoon grabbed a spoonful of rice. For some reason, he felt relieved by the statement and a bit embarrassed at his reaction.

"I'll tell you something," Jin said placing a piece of meat over Namjoon's bowl of rice. "All I want is someone who's as intelligent as you are, but possibly just a little less tense and argumentative. You understand?"

"I doubt we'll find that," Namjoon stated before pointing at the rest of the seafood on his side. "You forgot these,"

"No scallops either?" Jin quickly grabbed the remaining scallops. 

Namjoon shook his head. 

"I will never understand how you don't like seafood..."

"Good thing you do!" the lawyer smiled revealing his dimples. 

Jin smiled back. But all too quickly he could feel the small sense of sadness crawling up. How many more meals would they share together? How many more times would he see those dimples? how many more days left did they have? 

Maybe Tae was right... 

What if I'm bi?

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Hellooooooooo! new chapter and more to go! What do you think so far? will they realize their feelings or not?

feel free to vote and show your support <3

also, this is how Namjoon looks at that lunch table, ain't he the cutest?