Am i a horrible person?

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So today some drama happened between me and my friend. To give some backstory I have like 2 friends in my school (ik im a loser I think the fact I write wattpad genshin fanfics made that obvious enough but this is just confirming it 😭) and 1 of those friends I barely get to even SEE because we have literally opposite schedules like I BARELY get to see her anymore and it makes me so sad :( and my other friend which is the one I'm gonna be talking about since this happened with her I have lunch with only (we share no classes)

So basically we were at lunch and we were playing games on my phone, and then suddenly after like rage quitting or something she grabs my phone and gets out the app, and at the moment I know what she's gonna do bc she has done it before, she was gonna open a app that I had embarrassing stuff on (like this one 😭) and I kinda panicked cause I couldn't reach her to take it back and I don't need everyone sitting besides us knowing what I'm looking at so freaking out trying to reach it I suddenly pull on her shirt bc she was kinda holding my phone back purposely out of my reach so I couldn't get it, once I get it I'm like yippee and then she suddenly starts yelling at me calling me fucking reason and saying that this was probably the reason no one wanted to be friends with me, saying that I attacked her, and I'm like confused bc I wasn't trying to attack her and stuff so I was like how did I attack you? And she says bc I was pulling on her shirt and I scratched her, she then shows me her arm which was kinda red, just so you know I'd didn't purposely scratch her, it's just I have REALLY long nails so I probably did it accidentally while trying to reach her.

Anyway I defend myself saying that I didn't attack her and tell her it's her fault for literally snatching my phone from me and I just say I don't know what to say to you anymore bc I was genuinely flabbergasted. Anyway it was the end of lunch anyway so she just kinda turns away from me and we sit there awkwardly until they let us go and we leave. So here is my question, am I in the wrong for doing that? To be honest I never liked it when she did that, she found it funny but to me I just didn't like it, but I never really told her that or caused a ruckus cause I don't like fights or drama (it stresses me out) and all the other types she was sitting next to me so I never needed to like pull her closer or anything just to get her to give me my phone back. She does it to like my lunch box and stuff too and I genuinely don't like it but whatever.

It's just this time she was sitting across from me so if I wanted my phone back I had to pull her closer cause she was literally pulling it further back from me just so I couldn't get it. And I also don't like how she just searches through my phone like that, it's kinda invading my privacy, like I've made jokes before saying like oooh don't look at this app or something it's kinda weird and she has pulled up private stuff on my phone before other times she snatched it. I never really found it funny but I just kinda went along with the joke and tried to get it back. So like my kinda thought on it is just well maybe you shouldn't be taking my phone and invading my privacy in the first place, I mean, what friend would actually like that? Like I find it very funny you're trying to embarrass me, ha ha 🙂

So am I in the wrong? I don't know honestly, I feel conflicted. I'm also kind of sad at the fact that I probably just lost one of the only friends I actually get to hang out with anymore, but hey, atleast it's almost the end of the school year anyway! Also today I went to the award ceremony my school hosted, I saw the other friend that I'm still cool with and don't get to see often there, we didn't get the chance to talk but atleast I saw her, unlike the friend I talked about today with the drama and stuff, she would probably never do that to me. So I appreciate her for actually respecting my privacy <3

Hopefully next year I get a class or lunch with her or I make another friend, otherwise I'm absolutely cooked 😭 but hopefully it just all blows over and we just become friends again the next day, this is the first friend drama fight kinda thing I've ever experienced so I don't really know how they go. I just want a friend, and the fact that I possibly screwed this 1 year friendship up upsets me, like the period I had immediately after that which was art I had to hold back tears. Anyways I'm sorry you had to hear about my issues, I just don't know anywhere else to put this or ask this, so I'm telling you guys her, tell me your actual opinion on it too, don't sugarcoat or glaze it to save my feelings, tell me I'm a terrible friend or not.

I'll do a new chapter soon by the way so don't worry, anyways have a good night or day depending on when you're seeing this, bye! ❤️

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⏰ Last updated: May 09 ⏰

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