Cardigans and Converse // Spencer Reid

Chapter Sixty Nine - Lights, Camera, Bitch, Smile

☼ Sunny ☼

Spence leans in kissing my bare shoulder as his finger traces the line of my spine down my back. I love the way his finger tips brush my spine like one of his books. It's almost like he's trying to remember every single detail of this moment. The way my skin feels under his touch, the way my breath rises and falls, the way he looks into my eyes like he can map out our entire future in them.

"Just a few short days and I get to call you mine for the rest of our lives." He whispers between the kisses he peppers against my shoulder.

"It's not too late to back out." I offer half teasingly. The other part of me, the damaged Sunny who believes he would be better off without my insecure, traumatized self wants to rear her ugly head. But I push her down, she's not going to ruin this.

He turns me over so I'm facing him, his eyes searching mine in concern. "Don't do that.....don't let yourself believe that you don't deserve this kind of happiness." He tells me, brushing my wild curls out of my face. "You've given me a place to belong...a place where I can be just me....we deserve this."

"I know....I'm sorry." I whisper afraid if I speak any louder than I'll cry. He leans down, our lips gently brushing before he deepens our kiss.

I brush my hand over his hair and onto his cheek. Reminding myself of the simple fact that he is real. That someone as sweet, and kind, and smart as him could love me so much. Someone who believes I'm just the right amount. Not too much, not enough...just right.

Sometimes it feels like saying I love you just isn't enough. Not when my whole life has changed because of Spencer Reid.

He loves me.

He loves me so infinitely that it startles me. All I have ever wanted....ever wished for was to be loved like this.

I do deserve this....deserve him.

"What should I wear today?" I question him, changing the subject not wanting to ruin this moment any longer with my insecurities.

"Nothing." He quickly answers, I playfully smack his bare chest rolling my eyes.

"Sadly for you, that's not an option." I admit.

"We are about to speak in front of several dozen college students and you my love have public speaking anxiety so I suggest you wear whatever makes you comfortable."

"Somehow that made me feel even more terrified." I brush back his hair as he leans down to kiss me once more but this time it was needy. A voracious hunger.

"We...need...to....get....dressed....." I try to say in between hot kisses but he's unrelenting...starving.

"There's plenty of time for that....right now...." He begins to say his lips trailing down the middle of my chest....down my stomach....before he's dips his head in between my thighs. A gasp escapes my lips as his tongue strokes me.

He's right, we can definitely get dressed later.

☼🕮‧₊˚ ⋅♡‧₊˚ ⋅🕮☼

This has to be the top ten worst moments of my life. I think we can guess what the top three worst moments of my life would be. But this....lord this is testing my flight or fight response. I have nothing to fiddle with, no coffee cup, no file, nothing that can help keep my mind off of this moment.

The bright lights not only make me feel completely exposed but the crowded lecture hall is daunting. My eyes can't even focus long enough to pick a friendly face or a random pattern on someone's shirt.