Prologue: I remember

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I can't breathe
I can hear my heartbeat
I could feel my lower lip and hands trembling
I could feel my shoulders shaking as I sobbed into my hands

I was only 7 when it first happened, my first panic attack. I remember that day, my dad was drunk and he came home to hit mom and me, this had never happened before since he only hit's mom occasionally, but never me. That day he hit me with an empty glass bottle of beer, right above my shoulder, next to my collar bone. It had cracked and a piece of glass pierced my skin.

I remember my mom packing our stuff to leave, she'd had enough after my father hit me. I remember dad smashing china plates on the floor saying that we can't leave. I remember leaving the house that day with no home to call our own. I remember my mom carrying 500 dollars saying that's all we had.

I remember us walking for hours to my aunt Tilly's house but her house was smaller than ours and she had 2 bedrooms and 3 children but she was kind enough to let us stay there. Even though she was poor because she worked as a baker.

I remember having to share a bed with my cousin. I remember it being soo cold even with the thin blanket. I remember me folding the blanket to make it thicker, just to put it on my cousin because she was younger.

Its too cold

I remember me sneaking out of the house and seeing mom and aunty in the kitchen talking. I remember mom was in tears while aunt was trying to comfort her.

I remember me walking onto a bridge and I remember, after crossing the bridge, seeing a boy playing with a toy car, in front of a bush. He looked atleast 2 years older than me, he had piercing blue eyes and dark curly hair and what I remember the most is one of his teeth had not fully grown yet, he looked clean but his hair was messy making him look a tab bit disheveld.

I remember him looking up and tilting his head looking confused but at the same time excited. "Who are you?" he asks with an emerging smirk on his face. "I'm Natasha" I whisper it's the first time since we left the house that I spoke. "I'm Zayn" he says, offering me a hand to shake. I take it and scream when I realised there was a caterpillar stuck onto his hand. He drops the caterpillar and laughs like a crazy person he puts his hands on his stomach trying to calm himself down. I remember me giggling just a bit before i register that I'm supposed to be mad.

Even though that was absolutely disgusting I felt better for some reason.

Apparently it turns out that he doesn't just play friendly pranks, we went to the same school and it was hell. I remember on my first day Zayn spread weird rumours about me. Once he poured acid from the science lab on my shoes and I honestly hated him. What the hell did he have against me.

It went like this for 3 years until one day a few boys from Zayn class cornered me in an alleyway. But before they could do anything Zayn came and said "She isn't worth it guys" and lead them away. That got on my nerves. But when to confront him the next day, he was absent and he was absent the next day as well, and the next and the next. Soon it had been a month since I last saw him, that day I overheard a few boys talking about Zayn in the luch hall.

" I wonder how he's doing"
" He told me his father got transferred to another city"
"I kinda miss having him around"
" Ya that dude was fun"

I had to walk away by the end of that.

I didn't miss him but while I was relieved I had an uneasy feeling at the bottom of my stomach.

6 months later my mom came home from work ( she got a job at a factory ) and sat me, aunt and my cousins down to tell us something important. " I'm getting married!! " She says with a big smile on her face. "What?" I question, this was a first about any new man in her life. "I'm so happy for you, Lianne!" Aunt Tilly exclaims and she reaches out to hold Mom's hands. "I'm sorry" I say sarcastically, "You've never said anything about any man, not even news that you're dating, and suddenly you're getting MARRIED!!" It takes me a second before I realise I shouted the last word.

"I realise that this is a big shock to you Nat, I'll explain, 6 months ago the owner of the factory came to supervise and we'll.." she hesitates. "He umm found me attractive and took me out for dinner. And we've been dating ever since, and he proposed to me today." She holds up her hand and shows me a ring with a big stone on it. "Let me get this straight you've been dating for 6 months and he proposed! And you didn't think of mentioning this to me!" I say, careful not to raise my voice. "I know 6 months isn't a lot but I think he's the one, end of discussion and we're moving to his house in a week, you will not complain!" She says ending it in an angry tone.

This was big news and a major change to my life and she doesn't want to talk about it!
I was not happy at all.

A week later I moved into my mom's fiance's house, his name was Derek Ricci.
It was a huge mansion with tall pillars on the porch and long curtains covering the windows. It was a beautiful house but I had a bad feeling about all this. Mom went a kissed the man standing on the stairs of the porch, he had a mustache and hazel eyes, he was a decent looking compared to my mom who was a Greek goddesses her dark long hair complimented her green eyes both of which she passed on to me.

We walk in while Derek was showing us around and suddenly my breath catches when I walk in to the living room.
There was a man on the floor kneeling, wearing rags as clothes and next to him was a man in a polished coat holding a gun to his head.

"Run" the man kneeling said, his voice strained. But little did he know it was the last word he would ever speak.

I hear a gunshot.
Someone was screaming.
It was me, I was screaming

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