"love"

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did you know that i loved you?
truly loved you
in a way that made me fall asleep at night with a smile on my face
and in a way that made me dream about you, where you brushed your lips over mine

my love for you found its way into the way i dressed and did my makeup
it found its way into me whenever i took pictures of things i thought you might like

made me dismiss the boys in my dm's because all i could do was think about you and the way they didn't make your kind of jokes or didn't have your charm

i loved you in the way that made me crave your attention and stay up late at night
i loved you in the way that made me hate you sometimes because i felt so invalidated.
but at the end of the day, i never truly did hate you.
i could never hate you.

my love suffocated me and dimmed me down
made me stop smiling around my friends and family because you took over my very being
you consumed me without knowing so and in doing that
i lost you

i lost your goofy texts and calls
i lost your laughs and jokes
i lost your attention and during all this
i lost a part of me

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