Finding Jay ⚡️

Chapter 22- Betrayal

    "Congratulations on your successful mission," Ras growled as Jordana handed him the Medallion of Light. Jordana bowed respectfully and Ras gestured for her to stand up. "How was Jay's performance? Any signs of recognition when the ninja arrived?"
    "No Lord Ras," Jordana replied. "He was confused by their strong reaction just as you predicted. He carried out the mission perfectly." Lord Ras smiled, and gestured for her to follow him down the training ground's empty, moonlit field. All of the other followers had long gone to sleep, it was eerily quiet in the monastery at this time of night. Jordana didn't mention Jay's confusion after the mission, or how he had sunken into a contemplative silence that scared her. She and Cinder had wanted to go out and celebrate, but Jay had opted to go to bed early. Jordana knew that telling this to Lord Ras would raise red flags, and as much as she hated to admit it to herself she wanted to protect Jay as much as she could.
    "Lord Ras?" she asked meekly, as they continued across the field. "Jay told me you promised to get his memories back."
    "I said I would try," Lord Ras amended. The moon cast shadows on his face, masking his features in shadows. Try as she might, Jordana couldn't get a read on his thoughts.
    "But if he got his memories back," Jordana continued cautiously, "wouldn't he return to the ninja's side?" Part of her hoped that Lord Ras had an amazing plan that would allow Jay to get his memories back and choose to stay with them, as impossible as that seemed.
    "That's exactly where you come in," Lord Ras smiled, a cold light dancing in his eyes. Jordana did not like the implications of his words. "You are going to help me with that little problem."
    "How, my lord?" Jordana asked, fear growing inside of her as she waited for a response.
    "You know magic to bring memories back, correct?"
    "Yes my lord but-" Jordana began but Lord Ras cut her off.
    "You will learn a spell between tonight and tomorrow afternoon that will allow you to extract certain memories, while burying others deeper." Jordana gasped, quickly trying to disguise her horror as admiration for his plan. "Bring up all the memories of pain from Jay's time from the Administration. Overload him with pain until he begs for you to stop. When he finally does, he will be vulnerable and willing to believe any narrative I tell him."
    "That's genius my lord, but I don't know if I am skilled enough to do what you ask," Jordana told him, knowing full well that the magic he asked would not be very complicated to learn. In fact, she knew most of it already. Lord Ras stopped in his tracks, glowering down at Jordana. She began to shake, knowing all too well from past experiences what he would do to her if she failed to complete his task.
    "You will learn how to do it by sundown tomorrow," Lord Ras demanded, his voice low and threatening. She nodded slowly, bowing again. "The hard work has already been done for you. The Administration broke Jay down until he wanted to forget the pain, and by extension everything else. All you have to do is resurface that pain, and he will be willing to let go of his forgotten past."
    "I will not let you down," she said quietly. He dismissed her and she ran as fast as she could back to her room. Jordana launched onto her bed, crying quietly into her pillow.
    How can I do this to him? How can I destroy his peace and remind him of all the pain he went through for all that time he was a prisoner in the Administration?
    "Jordana?" a quiet voice broke through the barrage of guilty questions in her head. Jordana glanced up at the door, and there he was, silhouetted by the moon. He was so beautiful, too pure and good to be in a place like this. Broken people like her deserved to be here, not people like him.
    "I heard you crying, what's wrong?" he asked gently, coming up beside her.
    "Nothing," she said quickly, wiping the tears from her eyes roughly. "Sorry for waking you up."
    "I wasn't sleeping," he smirked, though Jordana could tell by his sleepy voice he was lying. She wanted him to go away, to leave her here in her pitiful state, which she knew she definitely deserved. At the same time, that's the last thing she wanted. She wanted him to be right here, to hug her and tell her everything would be alright.
    "C'mon, you can tell me," he urged, sitting down next to her on the bed. Jordana began to panic, Jay being this close to her was too much. Especially when the reason she was upset was because she was about to betray him again. At her lack of a response, Jay shrugged and scooped her into his arms, hugging her tightly.
    "You know you don't always have to be so strong all the time," he reminded her gently. "It's okay to let people be there for you." At his words, Jordana broke down again and began to sob in his arms. He was so sweet, so gentle as he held her and it broke her heart even more. She was a horrible, disgusting person that did not deserve any kindness from him. She was so selfish and wretched she didn't even have the strength to tell him to go away. He brushed the hair back from her face, looking down at her with those beautiful, kind eyes.
    "You're annoying," she sniffled, and he smirked.
    "You like it," he teased. She looked up at him again, and suddenly all she could think about was how much she wanted to kiss him. Without even thinking, she began to move closer, until their faces were inches apart. Jay just sat there shocked, his eyes widening in surprise. Gently, he pushed her back. Warmth traveled up Jordana's cheeks and she cursed herself for her stupidity.
    "I'm- I uh-" she stuttered, scooting back more and avoiding his eyes. Jay reached out and grabbed her hand, her words dying in her throat.
    "It's okay," he assured her. "I'm so sorry, it just feels wrong for some reason. It's nothing related to you," he assured her quickly. "I just got hit with this vague sense of guilt and like wrongness, I can't explain it." He searched her face, looking for signs of hurt. She could tell he felt really bad for rejecting her, and she schooled her face into a mask of calm and confidence that contradicted the hurricane of emotions inside.
    "It's totally fine," she laughed lightly, trying to act casual. "I was just upset, I didn't really mean anything by it." Jay nodded slowly, as if not sure to believe her. She rolled her eyes and slapped his hand away. "Don't make it weird, sparky." He smirked, relief on his features as he stood up.
    "Hey, I mean I get it," he joked, "I am pretty hot."
    "Get out of my room you weirdo," Jordana teased, tossing a pillow at his head. Jay deflected and made it to the door, his smirk replaced by concern again.
    "If you need to talk, you know you can talk to me," he reminded her gently.
    "Get out," Jordana groaned, and Jay shut the door quietly behind him.
   I"M SO STUPID!!!!! Jordana yelled at herself in her head as soon as the door shut.
    Yes, yes you are, the other voice in her head snarked. Jordana ignored the snide comment and tried to focus on blocking the last few minutes out of her memory forever. Even through amnesia, Jay was being loyal to his stupid ninja girlfriend. She had heard of Nya and Jay's relationship of course, they were one of the most famous couples in Ninjago. When Jordana had seen Nya on their mission, she had been terrified that Jay would remember her. She felt a little stab of guilt as she remembered how the water ninja had started sobbing when Jay had gently pushed her off of him.
   She doesn't deserve him, the voice in her head whispered. Jordana agreed with the voice for once, even though she knew she didn't deserve him either. Why should that pathetic, weak excuse for a ninja get to belong with Jay? What makes her more deserving than you?
    Well, for one, she didn't betray him, Jordana thought back bitterly.
    Didn't she? The voice shot back. She had five years to find him and she's failed. It's her fault that he's in this position in the first place. Jordana chose to ignore the dishonesty in those words, desperate to make Nya the bad guy instead of her. She felt the voice's control strengthening, fueled by her guilt and anger, but she didn't care.
    How dare Nya let Jay go through all of this? I would have never stopped looking for him until I found him. Jordana thought bitterly.
   Yes, the voice agreed sympathetically. It's her fault he has gone through all that pain. But now you have the opportunity to help Jay let go of that life. You can influence his memories, bring back the pain so he can forget the past. It would be worse for him in the long run to remember his life. To remember HER.
    Jordana began to rock back and forth in the dark, trying to make sense of everything. She could feel the voice influence her emotions, her decision, but she ignored that.
    Yes, she agreed. He will be better off if I do this. He needs to let go of the past, of her, so that we can have a future. It's for his own good.
    She would help Jay, even if that meant she had to hurt him first.