Heir to Light | Fablehaven AU

XVII - intrinsically tied

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The warmth of the dirt cave posed as the only benefit to their  otherwise negative situation considering the majority of their supplies  were gone, agents of the Sphinx had kidnapped Raxtus, and now they had  new non-combatants to protect. But at least they ended up in the warm  ground!

The defrosting of Kendra's freezing body almost bolstered  her morale enough to contend with Muriel. As soon as the witch had  sensed that everyone else had fallen asleep, she had scooted over to  Kendra and had cast a simple distraction spell. Kendra had envy at her  ease with magic, especially since she knew what the witch was going to  ask and Kendra couldn't lie to her. When Muriel had grabbed Kendra's  hand to help with setting up their current luxury dirt cave, she had  sensed Kendra's lack of magical ability.

But, also, Kendra had  never been able to lie to Muriel, because the witch was just too damn  perceptive. Muriel was never nice about her observations, either, so it  created a loop of negative feedback.

As expected, Muriel narrowed her eyes and immediately cut to the point. "What happened to you?"

With  a sigh, she whispered what Muriel had already figured out. "I lost my  magic. I over-exhausted myself breaking out of Terrabelle and the stupid  sickening crystals sickening. It's gone. Don't tell anyone."

She  believed in the structural integrity of Muriel's bunker, but in the  darkness, all Kendra could feel was the dirt on all sides compressing  her body. The earth hanging over the head. She laid in her resting place  already. A mass grave with all the people she was taking with her.

Terror,  guilt, and anxiety tumbled through her stomach and she tried to push  the thoughts down. She needed a clear mind. That's what her grandparents  had always said.

"Can you see me right now?"

Kendra  squinted. It was dim, but she could make out Muriel's wrinkled face and  her raised eyebrow. Long, wavy gray hair framed her bony countenance.  "Not very well."

"It should be pitch black. But not to you. Not to  me. Because we have light magic. You didn't lose it, you stupid girl."  Her lips curved into a grin, the wart on her chin stretching to  accommodate. "Silly."

Indignation flared in Kendra. This was a real problem and Muriel was so unserious. "But why can't I use it?"

"Well, what did I always tell you?"

"That I was lazy and was going to squander all my talent?"

The witch rolled her eyes. "Yes, but what else?"

"Did you ever say anything else?"

"Don't be ungrateful."

Kendra pursed her lips together and whispered back shortly. "I would never."

Muriel  sniffed. "Your magic is a part of you—the real you. But, you force  yourself and it away. You push your emotions down. You try to be someone  different than yourself. Someone different for the King and Queen, for  your kingdom, for your little boyfriend. You refuse yourself and in  doing so, refuse your magic."

Kendra closed her eyes in shame. She  wanted to retort to Muriel that Garreth wasn't her boyfriend, but such  things were useless with Muriel.

Desperation had lived in every  crevice of Kendra's body since she figured out her inability to access  her magic. Even though Muriel's words were harsh and blunt, they offered  a solution and assurance that it wasn't the end of the world.

"You need to balance your mind and body. Connect with yourself and your magic will come," Muriel finished.

Kendra  could probably do that. What did that take? Some calming exercise, some  talking about her feelings? It wasn't pleasant-sounding, but the reward  of having her magic back overcame any hesitation. She could even make a  checklist.