illicit affairs

24. first night anxiety

! real-life !

Aaralyn paced about nervously backstage , minutes away from performing her first show in Atlanta. She had never been on a tour with this many people knowing who she was, she could hear the people chanting her name and it worsened her anxiety.

It had been a while since she performed her songs in front of this many people live, it was nerve wrecking for sure, she couldn't stop bouncing up and down on her spot, Tori and Zendaya attempting to calm her down.

"Girl, you've got this, and you know it. You're amazing at what you do, you're a fucking damn good singer and you actually make me cry with your songs." Tori held her shoulders, trying to get her to stop bouncing up and down.

"Damn right she is. Aaralyn, look at me. You've done this before, it's a piece of cake. Everyone loves you for who you are, this is going to be one of the best nights of your life, one of the nights you're gonna tell your successful children about. I don't actually know where I'm going with this but you get my point." Zendaya focused on her.

"Yeah." Aarlayn nodded, looking behind them at the stage before shifting her attention back to them. "Yeah, you're right, I'm Aaralyn fucking melody. I've got this."

Aaralyn took a step forward, ready to get out onto stage before her legs just stopped moving and she was stuck in place. "You know what, maybe you should just like push me, so I'm forced, yeah, do that."

Tori and Zendaya looked at each other, nodding at one another before placing their hands on the singers back and pushing her out onto the stage, causing the girl to trip, thankfully the stage was dark so the audience didn't actually see her fall.

She looked before her, at all the excited faces, waiting to see her, her of all people, she couldn't believe it. She was now determined to make her night, it was gonna be great.

She didn't say anything to the audience, building the suspense as she sat down at the piano and began playing the first song of the night, 'emails I can't send'.

"It's times like these, wish I had a time machine
so, I could see what you did October 13th
At 10:15, were you really asleep?
were your lying to me and the family?
There's no us in us when I'm lacking trust
You wanna discuss, ugh, you disgust me
Don't make me cuss you out
Why'd you let me down? Don't say sorry now
And thanks to you, I, I cant love right
I get nice guys and villainise them "

As soon as began to sing she could hear the crowd began to cheer at the sound of the first song, causing her to smile to herself, fuelling her with the courage she needed to get through her anxiety. It seemed the more she sang, the more she was having fun.

"Read their texts like they're having sex right now
Scared I'll find out that it's true
And if I do, then I don't blame you for every worst that I assume
When I'm 45, someone calls me their wife
And he fucks our lives in one selfish night
Don't think I'll find forgiveness as fast as mom did
And god, I love you, but you're such a dipshit
Please, fucking fix this
'Cause you were all I looked up to
Now I can't even look at you "

The lights around her blackened and the audience began to constantly cheer loudly. She smashed the first song and she felt as though she couldn't feel her anxiety hitting her anymore.

"Atlanta." Aaralyn longed out into the microphone, teasing them, which caused the audience to scream once again. "I don't think you're loud enough." More screaming. "Are you ready to go crazy tonight?"