Hard to Love - T.K.

Dad

TW⚠️ this chapter involves sh and abuse ⚠️ please skip if you are sensitive to these topics and take care of yourself 💜

I woke up to a loud bang coming from downstairs. I checked the time. 6:30. It was dark outside and i had a notification but i didn't check it.

I stepped outside my room to see glass shattered on the floor. I walked down the stairs and saw my mom and dad fighting in the kitchen.

"It's all your fault our daughter is like this!" My dad yelled as he grabbed my mom by her hair shoving her into the fridge.

Dad always blamed Mom for my depression last year. I don't know why though.

"I tried to help her! She won't talk to me about what happens at school!" Mom yelled pushing him away from her.

Dad grabbed her shoving her into the kitchen counter making her fall holding her side. That's when i got upset and walked into the kitchen pushing him back. "Dad stop!"

"Why? You're the way you are because of her!" He yelled.

"It's not her fault dad!" I yelled back trying to make him stop. Then he back handed me across the cheek. I knew there would be a bruise from the impact in the morning.

My mom got up but i zoned out holding my cheek. I think she told him to leave but i went up stairs to my room and locked the door sobbing on my bed.

Everything that happened today replayed in my head. Getting coffee with kaliyah, bumping into Tom at the office, him calling me annoying in first period, him slamming my locker and calling me fat, accidentally running into him then getting milk poured on my head, coming home just to nap, then my dad hitting me.

I couldn't take it anymore. I started pacing the room holding my head trying to get my thoughts away from where they were. Next thing i knew i was digging in my desk for a pencil.

I took off my bracelets seeing the scars from last year and started rubbing the eraser against my skin. It burned a little but the pain was bearable. I deserved this right? My own father doesn't like me. Tom has no reason to hate me he just does.

I looked down seeing my skin rubbed raw from the eraser. It burned to touch but i handled the pain and put my bracelets back on. I wanted to scream, break something, anything but feel this pain.

⚠️end of tw⚠️

I put away the eraser and just jumped back on my bed not checking my phone. I just went to sleep again even though my stomach was rumbling from not having anything since the coffee this morning.

The next morning

I woke up to my alarm. I groaned turning it off and throwing the blankets over my head wanting to sleep in. Its 7:30 and i usually get to school about ten minutes after i leave so i have to get up now.

I checked my phone to see the notification from yesterday.

Kaliyah                                                                            Me

Hey im kinda worried

Im sorry about what happened but please answer

Autumn

Sorry i fell asleep after i got home last night

Ohh its okay i was just worried

I went to the bathroom looking at my face. There was a bruise on my cheek going under my eye. I sigh and applied makeup to cover the bruise. Afterwards i got dressed just in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants with vans.

My wrists burned and I didn't feel like dealing with Toms bullshit today. I grabbed my keys, fed and watered Binx then headed out to my car.

7:54

I pulled up to school and got into my parking space. I got out grabbing my phone until i heard footsteps coming towards me. Kaliyah wasn't here so i didn't know who it could be.

I looked up to see. Oh no. Tom.

He walked up to me looking pissed but i really wasn't in the mood today.

"You got me into detention," he said harshly as he came up to me quickly grabbing my wrist. I winced from the burning sensation that was sent coursing through my veins. I squirmed trying to make him let go but he just wouldn't.

"I'm sorry just please let go," i pleaded just wishing for the pain to stop.

"Why? You got me into detention my first day!" He screamed in my face. I backed against my car flinching. For some reason its like a switch in him flipped. He loosened his grip on my wrist. Tears were flowing down my cheeks.

He reached up with his other hand to my cheek rubbing under my eye softly. I flinched from the pain, then it hit me. My makeup probably came off from the tears i had.

He was quiet as he looked down raising my sleeve and i quickly pulled my hand away. Why was he being this way?

I looked down but he grabbed my chin softly making me look up to him. His eyes were slightly soft but they were still a piercing golden brown color.

"Who did this?" He mumbled softly, more to himself than me as he gently ran his finger under my eye. I was so confused and shocked that i couldn't answer.

He pulled away from me quickly as Kaliyah pulled up to her parking space. Getting out quickly.

"Whats going on? Autumn what happened to your cheek?" She asked looking at Tom like he did it. "Did he do this?" She asked and i shook my head. Tom looked at me then walked away fast heading to class.

"He didn't do anything," i said lowly looking down. She pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged back. "Do you wanna skip today?" She asked softly as i nodded.

"Okay we'll take your car i can come back for mine," she said grabbing my keys out my hand and opening my door. I walked around to the passenger side getting in quietly. I was so confused. Why was Tom being so sweet but just left when Kaliyah came up? And why did my heart rage in my chest when he looked at me the way he did?

I had this feeling in my stomach that i could not explain.

"We're gonna head to my friend Georgia's house. She will get you all fixed up with that eye," Kaliyah said.

I just nodded feeling sick rethinking what happened in the parking lot.

That's when i felt my phone vibrate and i looked down at it with my heart dropping.

Tom Kaulitz started following you