We open on the three cherubs rolling Lyle in his bed outside to a hill overlooking a forest and a lake.
Cletus: Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age! Or wealth!
Collin: If you were to end your life, you'd be missing aaaaaall of this.
Suddenly Blitza appears in a smoking hot tiger costume that barely contained her.........assets.
Blitza: Mm-hm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?
Keenie covers her mouth and gasps. Collin blankly stares in disbelief, and Cletus gives a disappointed look at the Imp demon
Keenie: That is so inappropriate!
Y/n, Millie, Kabuhamaru and Moxxie appear with the Imps in cat costumes, the female snake demon in a fox outfit and the Overlord in a rabbit costume.
Kabuhamaru: Oh please, this asswipe experiments on living people and profits off the corpses that invention caused! And you say we're the inappropriate ones ?! Fuck you too, you self righteous asses.
Millie: Yeah, kiss our ass, prude!
Blitza: Aaaanyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close.
She grabs a pair of binoculars out of nowhere.
The old man looks through the binoculars and sees an adorable group of bunnies and squirrels together. The critters are suddenly torn apart and eaten by a pack of hungry wolves.
Lyle: Ohhhh, noooo!
Collin: S-Stop looking!
Lyle: I CAN'T stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!
A bear swipes a wolf to the ground. It raises a paw to attack but is then crushed by a falling tree, cut down by a beefy logger with a chainsaw.
A beehive lands on the man's head and he screams, flailing his head to get the hive off while also throwing his chainsaw into the air.
The chainsaw comes back down, cutting both of the man's arms off and causing him to scream harder, before his body is skewered from behind by the antlers of a charging stag as lighting flashes dramatically.
The human and the cherubs look on in horror as Blitza give them a look of fake shock which turns into a smug look.
Cletus: (nervously) Uhhh, let's go check out someplace else!
Millie and Moxxie bump fists, the paws of their cat costumes squeaking as we cut to a shopping mall.
Lyle in his bed is pused through the door hard enough to destroy both it and part of the wall surrounding it.
Lyle: Oh, Lord! Where are we now?! Let me perish!
Keenie: We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for: childhood wonderment!
The female cherub motions to a crowd of kids cheering by a sitting Santa Claus. One kid wears a "Craft Mine" shirt, while another eats his booger.
Lyle: Why... look at those sweet, disease-ridden vermin. Th- Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood... and their middle-class existence! Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this.
Blitza: Hey, dipshit!
They stare at Blitza and Millie dressed as elves, while a grumpy Moxxie wears a Rudolph costume. Y/n was wearing something akin to a snow man and Kabuhamaru also looked like a reindeer. They stand by Santa with a kid in his lap.
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Hell's serpentine overlord (Hazbin Hotel Harem X male Obanai reader)
FanfictionAfter killing going on an unstoppable rampage which resulted in him killing his entire family, Y/n ended up in hell after being beheaded by a samurai. After nearly 80 years in hell, Y/n, with no where else to go, finds himself in a hotel run by a c...
