🌸☆~'||'~Volume 9~'||'~☆🌸

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🌸~'||'~Chapter 9~'||'~🌸
"Not enough, never enough.."
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⚠️🌸~'|--Warning--|'~🌸⚠️
This chapter contains...
Insecurities
Mental health issues
Small toxic friendship
Toxic friendship red flags
Suicide mentions
Terrible addiction
Bad Grammer
Terrible spelling
Side Ships
Lbgt
Lesbian
Mitsuri x Shinobu
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🌸~'||'~Shinobu's pov~'||'~🌸
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"Shinobu... let's talk..."

I was surprised at the person who gave said those words, it was none other than Sabito himself. I was shocked, why would he ever want to talk to me? We haven't even said a word to each other in years. "Alright..." My hands hurt, I was born very weak and frail, so landing a blow on my hands with difficult and painful. I felt Sabito grab my hand tightly, as if it was out of anger or something, he dragged me outside, to an area noone really hangs out unless they are that lonely. I was scared, what was he planning to do or talk about? Was he really gonna use his words or fists againest me?

"Someone is wrong with you Shinobu I-"

"It's Kocho for you..."

"Is there any reason on why would pretend it be someone your not? Giyu been telling that ever since you two stopped being friends, you also stopped being yourself since around last year."

"I don't know what you're talking about..? And if it was true I wouldn't tell you anything! You can't expect someone to tell you something about themselves when you have never really ever spoken to them before!"

"It's obvious your not yourself, I mean Everytime your angry you mange a smile, like Kanae would, however she never needed to snap, when she did she just raises her voice. Your different, you actually snapped, and that was real, it's obvious you faked a smile. Anyone can tell.."

What was he trying to prove? That I'm a lair and Giyu was correct? Is that it? He just wants me to get information out and use it againest me for something he wants. What could he possibly want from me anyways? What can I give? Because everything is based off of what everyone around me likes. I only faked my whole life just so I could be loved by someone. "What are you even trying tos say here?"

"I been in your shoes before, I tried to do something stupid for love, it can be worth it, up until they find out about it. I suggest you stop before more people find out..."

"Stop...? I can't.. it's like an addiction! I can't stop it no matter what I do! I don't even know what I'm into anymore! I don't even know who to trust who to- wait.."

"So you do fake it..huh?"

"I-I didn't mean to say anything I-"

"It's an addiction right? I understand that..."

"But what do you mean by that?! What did you do? And who knows and who doesn't?"

"More people are beginning to find out, I guess the longer your with someone, the more you are willing to be yourself In a way?"

"Aaand??"

"Oh! I used to pretend to be like more confident In a way? It's embarrassing to talk about..."

"Massive ego and Giyu found you weird"

"Kinda..? Not much of an ego..but whatever.."

"Why do you bother telling me this now? When you had a chance to stop me before it gotten worse?"

"It's not like you bothered to listen to others as much, you acted like it but I never suspected you cared at all."

"Oh..."

"Is it the same for Mitsuri? Do you act like you give a shit about her but you don't!"

"N-no! I would never! She makes me feel a way I never ever felt before! I just felt kike I can't do anything to hurt her! And-"

"Ohh? So you like her huh~?"

"Don't be weird..."

"Alright alright!"

"It's stupid! Because girl's can't love girls and it's an uncomfortable feeling like it should never exist and-"

"So Kanao can't love Nezuko?"

"W-what...?"

"Nevermind...you never really bothered to talk to Kanao as much huh? But I hope we can talk again soon..lunch is about to end in like 5 minutes, so I better head back to Giyu.. I'll see you around!"

"Y-yeah..see you.."

That rlak, I felt like it changed something. Maybe I'm not the only one suffering alone, maybe there is someone like me and I just never bothered to open up about it. Then again I was scared, I was afraid of what others might think of me if I never decided to speak the truth. I feel like I am soon ready, but I am still afraid. Just because I found someone who changed themselves to be someone their not and found a way to escape that addiction, won't really work the same for me..

Then again, Kanao...I have not spoken to her much lately since Kanae left home. Is Kanao like me when it comes to romance, could I really begin to open up to her? She can't really feel emotions, so would she really care? Is it love that she thinks about. I was afraid...I don't even know what to think of myself anymore. My reflection shows someone who is lost and terrified, alone and afraid...

The next day, I tried to look for Mitsurix I needed to tell her, I needed to reach out to someone.

"Mitsuri...can I tell you something?"

There is something about Mitsuri I don't really understand just yet..

"Sure go ahead!"

But now I am ready to understand her...

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🌸~'||'~Thanks for reading~'||'~🌸
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Total words: 957

I meant to post like a bit ago sorry y'all- got caught up with unfortunately life 😞

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