Monotonous | Nanami Kento x Reader

21 | Kento | For the Rest of His Life?

Kento was a man of schedule.

So of course, he couldn't find it in himself to just order food coincidentally from his favourite baker once, now could he? It had become a daily habit of his, and despite the growing costs, he didn't mind. He wasn't exactly in a financial deficit, and he much rather adored the look on Y/N's face; pleasantly surprised matched with his giving smile.

It was the only thing keeping him sane, even as his dark bags kept piling and moral kept being tested. 

How much longer did he want to live like this?

Every late evening visit from Y/N cut shorter and shorter, as she too couldn't stay long due to her work. Why'd she work 2 jobs in the first place?

This night, one in the countless weeks that had followed, he stopped her a the door, bundling up his jacket on her like he did ever since. As his fingers danced over the buttons, he softly spoke up, tired eyes not budging from his work. "You should stay longer."

"I'm sorry, I just can't." Y/N sighed. "I got a talk-to yesterday. I really wish I could stay, but you also shouldn't spend money every night."

"You wanted to save up money, and I don't mind--"

"It's unhealthy to eat take-out every day." Y/N interrupted, crossing her arms in his large sleeved jacket.

Kento bit the inside of his cheek at her concern, patting her shoulder. "I make homemade food too."

"Doesn't seem like it since I deliver food to you every day for the last month." Y/N retorted.

"Well, would you come over if I made food for you?" He raised an eyebrow.

"When I'm not busy."

"When are you not busy." HIs words were hypocritical, as he himself was always time jammed with work. "You're also going job hunting too-- shouldn't you take a break?" 

"I can't."

It was always 'I can't'. It wasn't illegal to take care of oneself. But before he could voice his thoughts, Y/N was gone once more, her warmth fading from his fingertips. He still stood by the doorway, even as her silhouette was long gone. There was an ache, not in his mind from weary calculations, or his overworked muscles, but in a place foreign and shut-off. 

Kento didn't bothering finishing the rest of his take-out meal, leaving it half-eaten on the table as he went to the washroom. His mind felt so numb, but his heart hurt. Did his apartment always feel so empty? A stifling silence enveloped his apartment until he couldn't take it. He splashed cold water over his face. As he looked up to face the mirror, his eyes were wide like a cornered animal. Grasping at the counter edge with tense fingers, he steadied himself, swallowing thickly as he examined his appearance. It was no secret he looked older than his years. All that stress did him no good. 

"Idiots." He murmured under his breath. "They're all idiots. Do they expect me to do a 10-6 for the rest of my life?" It was a testament to himself, his words echoing in the small space. "For the rest of my life."

Those unknown days were filled with boring predictability, and he despised that thought. He felt like a scrounging rat, living each day as if they were with no real purpose.

For the rest of his life.

Once he finished washing his face, he didn't bother drying it. He didn't remember falling asleep until he woke up in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. A blaring alarm rung annoyingly in his ear, but his hand didn't reach out to turn it off. It kept ringing, time slipping from his fingertips.

Soon, Kento impossibly mustered his body to sit up and complete his morning routine.

For the rest of his life.

Did he want this? Finger finger stopped momentarily as he was looping his tie; a different tie from the one he gave Y/N, still remembering that grateful expression that sent a flurry in his heart. The answer was obvious, but there wasn't a solution, an alternative to the life he deemed unsatisfactory. The mere thought sickened him. Since when did he get so passive and step back from everything? He changed. If he was back to his younger self, he wouldn't have taken this office job he deemed idiotic, or stayed quiet to the cursed spirit lingering on Y/n.

Kento was a crossroad, stuck at a standstill.

And he didn't know how to get out of it. 

For now he set off for work, not wishing to feel all these feelings that both burning and numbed him.

For the rest of his life.