Broken I

15

ARNA

Someone please stop him!!!

He came to his hotel just because I said they had a nice rooftop ?

Seriously, Hridhan ?

Stop being this nice. I don't want to keep breaking myself. I am very clear that I don't trust anyone anymore. Stop making me believe in you. Stop being kind.

Be like everyone else. Leave me when I need you most. Ignore my words. Don't listen to me. Don't smile at me. Neglect me like everyone does.

Can't you ? Can't you be like everyone ?

"Sorry... I disappointed you," he whispered again.

Please, Hridhan. I gonna cry.

"Illa..." I said, taking a long breath.

"Arna, sorry na ithu ellam therinchutu vanthurukanu," he whispered in apologizing tone, looking at me.

"Oru nimisham, washroom poitu vanthuren," I said, rising from the chair and heading inside the hotel.

Familiar with the layout, I navigated to the washroom and shut the door behind me. Leaning against the cool tiled wall, I closed my eyes, trying to regain composure.

Take a breath, Arna. I whispered to myself.

After a few moments, I splashed cold water on my face, the water helps to steady my emotions. I dried my face with a paper towel and walked back out to the reception area.

"Arna ma'am," the receptionist greeted me with a warm smile.

"Hi," I returned the gesture with a wave.

"Wipes ethavathu kedaikuma ?" I asked.

"Kedaikathunu sonna enaku jail than, ma'am," she said playfully as she picked up some wipes. As I reached for one, she stopped me.

"Illa, ma'am, ithu normal. Ungaluku vendam," she replied, bending down to place a fresh, brand-new one and passed it to me. I shook my head in disbelief and took it.

"Thank you," I said.

"We are thankful for your presence, ma'am," she beamed at me. I nodded and walked back towards our table, where I saw Hridhan restlessly searching for me.

I shouldn't have left him halfway. I sat across him and gave him an assuring smile.

"Ellarum born artist illanu nenga thana sonninga ?"

He looked blank at my statement.

"Ithu ellam nenga munnadiyae therinchukanu avasiyamae illa... Athuvum illama namba vera hotel poirukalam. Nithya Nala hotel suggestions ketta nala na ithu recommend pannen. Avalothan," I said.

"Na inga perusu entha hotelum try pannathu illa... Athan unaku pudicha edathuku polanu," he said.

Hridhan please. Stop making me emotional.

The waiter arrived and placed the starters I had ordered.

Thank goodness.

"Ithu sour soup, apram athu sweet soup. Itha starters nu solluvanga," I said to him. He made an 'O' shape with his mouth and nodded.

"Ama ithu ethuku ? I mean, starters na enna ?" he asked, looking clueless but cute.

I liked it when he became clueless. I still remember the adorable face he made when I asked him to loosen my blouse.

"Athu namba main dish sapdrathu munnadi sapdrathu... Main dish seiya late agum illaya ? So athuku munnadi lite aa ethavathu sapdrathu," I explained.

"Ithuku aprom main course sapduvom, last aa dessert," I said, taking a sip of the sweet soup.

"Dessert ?" he asked, tasting the sour soup.

"Dessert last aa ethavathu saptu finish pandrathu. Sapta feeling satisfy panna," I explained what I knew.

"Neraiya peruku sapdae illama irukkanga," he said.

I nodded. "Athan different standards of life nu nenaikuren. Ellarukum ellam irunthuta aprom Yaru rule pandrathu ? Yaru avangaluku adimaiya irukkarathu ?" I chuckled dryly.

Words held deep emotions. Anyways, Don't mind.

"Unmai than," he nodded.

"Inthanga," I pushed my half-finished soup towards him while he looked at me.

"Ithu sweet soup try pannunga. Na renduthulaiyum onu than order panna share pannikalanu," as soon as I said that, Hridhan passed me his soup and took mine.

I tasted the sour soup while he had my sweet one. As dishes started coming, I began randomly blabbering about my school life while he listened and nodded. He even appreciated me when I mentioned that I participated in a few competitions and lost.

"Na ethulaiyum jeikala" I said to make him clear that I didn't even a single competition because of nepotism.

Who cares ? No-one.

"Jeikarathu mukkiyam illa... Participation than mukkiyum. Nee panniruka... very good,"

I didn't know what to say as I silently had dinner.

"Tamil medium la padichiya ?" he asked.

"Ama. School tamil medium la than padichen," I replied.

"But english nala fluent aa pesuriyae," he remarked.

"Ennaku english romba pudikum... So self aa kathukuten. Athuvum illama enoda oru friend romba help panna," I explained.

Well, the journey was good. Learning has always been my therapy. When I feel demotivated or low, I try new things. Anything at random. No one can do anything good the first time. As I fail in the first attempt, I tell myself, 'This is life.' Everything comes from practice and dedication. We fail and learn.

The waiter placed the main course items one by one. We both started eating, and I blabbered about something random again while he listened as he had his dinner.

"Sorry na etho theva illama solli-" I said as I realised I have been talking too much and all the non sense.

"Appidi ellam illa arna.. sollu aprom enna achu exam eppidi panna ?" He asked.

"Nala pannen" I replied.

After completing our meal, we waited for the waiter to bring the bill. Once paid, we both left the hotel. I didn't know where we were going, but we walked together in silence along the sides of the road.

The dark skies loomed above us, and we walked under them.

I didn't know what was happening to me. I felt a comfort I shouldn't, but I wasn't ready to think about it now.

Suddenly, Hridhan's hand came into contact with my shoulder, and he slightly pushed me to the other side as I was walking along the roadside where vehicles rarely passed.

Smile ?  Slightly.

I bit my cheeks and soon we reached the bus stop and boarded a bus together.

"Enga porom ?" I asked, taking the window seat.

The cold air hit me, sending chills down my spine. Hridhan was next to me. His shoulder brushing mine. Nothing felt wrong.

"Enga ponum ?" He asked, his deep voice doing something I couldn't quite understand.

"Ena kekuringa ?" I asked, taken aback as I faced him.

"Unathana ma keka mudiyum."

"Neenga thana bus eruninga ? Enga porom nu theriyamaya eruninga ?" I asked, shocked.

"Neenga solluvinga nu nenacha madam"

"Athu seri," I said, turning my face back to the window side. A smile bloomed as I listened to his words while he bought the tickets.

I watched the bustling city after a long time, feeling a sense of peace within me.

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Engaiyo poranga 🤫

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