A God Amongst Wolves

17

Word Count: 2227

~Alvera

I'm not entirely sure what it is like to feel anymore.

I've been sitting numbly on a bed that doesn't belong to me, staring at garish wallpaper that swims in my unfocused vision.

I'm in the Alpha King's bedroom…Venn's bedroom.

The fact that I was standing here only a week ago, looking around a barren, delipidated room only to be sitting in a fully furnished, utterly lavish from is frankly disturbing.

My brain is yet to fathom my new reality. For now it's stuck in between emotion, reaching out for purchase but finding nothing but emptiness.

I suppose it's for the best. Eldon is experiencing enough shock for the both of us.

When we finally dragged our feet to the manor, Venn suggested we break off into different rooms to cool off. Eldon was deathly silent for the remainder of our walk, and without a single word, followed Venn to his own room.

Venn has offered me his room for now, and I'm grateful for the silence.

I dig my hands into the plushness of his duvet, staring at the entrance to the room. Venn stood there, looking into the room as if it didn't belong to him. His ability to conceal the truth is disconcerting.

I'm not sure what to call him now. My husband isn't exactly the correct term, according to him, but it's the most equivalent.

I lean my head into my hands. How am I going to crawl out of this mess?

Tentative footsteps have me looking up to see Venn standing in the door way, a tray in his hands. The scent of food as my stomach grumbling; I haven't eaten all day, and the sun has already began to set.

"You need to eat." He nods his head back out into the suite, so I follow him out.

"What is it?" I ask. He sets it down onto a sleek coffee table, ensuring the water in the glass doesn't spill.

The rest of the suite is beautifully furnished. I've never been in Venn's private space before but this all seems fitting. He clearly had been working on restoring the house long before I came across it, but kept it hidden by some kind of magic.
 
"Stew and bread." He steps back, rubbing the back of his neck. "After this you should get some rest."

I look down at my feet, at the back of my heels. The skin has been shredded, blisters oozy and gruesome. My entire body is damp with sweat, my clothes clinging uncomfortably to my body.

That walk was a struggle, but at least it's over.

"I'll try…" I murmur, sinking into the couch, pulling the tray of food closer to me.

The stew is salty and rich and soothes the deep ache in my stomach. I can feel the tension pull from my body like a thread unfurling from fabric, even if there is a harsh reminder in the back of my mind that I'm in a manor in the middle of a dense forest filled with werewolves.

"How can so much change in only a few days?" I ask, shredding a piece of bread off the loaf, soaking it in the stew.

Venn watches me solemnly. "I know."

"We were just standing right there, looking at this room wondering what it looked like…" I say, pointing to the doorway of his bedroom.

It seems so obvious, in retrospect. If only I had realised my suspicions about Venn earlier…it doesn't matter, though. I wouldn't have made it out â€"  that wasn't the Moon Goddess's intention for me.

"Does it live up to your imagination?" Venn gives me a strange look, looking close to wringing his hands with anxiety.

I realise that he wants this place to live up to my expectations because there is a chance I'll be spending a lot of time here.

The rest of my life, even, although I try not to think about that.

"It's more beautiful than I thought…less gaudy," I admit, letting my eyes rove over the suite. There's a comforting air to it too, although I neglect to mention that.

"I've had some things changed," he admits, seating his hands on his pockets.

"Already? How?"

"Magic," he exclaims. "And a lot of people wanting to do my bidding."

I shiver at the thought. I can feel the presence of his power now, like he was holding it back and has only now unleashed it. I can see how many would be willing to do his bidding.

"It never crossed my mind that you could be the Alpha King. I see it now," I tell him breathily. "It suits you."

It really does. In fact, if I stare at him too long, I start to feel that power drawing me in, smothering my rational thought.

He watches me pensively. "You're not scared?"
 
"Should I be?" I whisper.

His brows crease together and he looks ready to take a healthy step back. He's as much afraid of hurting me as I am of being hurt, which is oddly comforting.

"Of course not. I would never hurt you," he assures me gently.

I sigh, eating another spoonful of stew before I regard him again. "So, why did you not tell me who you are?"

He seats himself next to me, rubbing his brow tensely.

"I never wanted to influence you to stay in anyway, even inadvertently. I also didn't want to compromise my position here if you decided I terrified you and you told the wrong people," he tells me.

Gnawing distractedly at the crust of the bread, I consider that. At least it's a sound explanation.

"I've always known what was at stake for werewolves. I wouldn't have compromised you," I add earnestly.

"I know. I'm sorry." His shoulders slump forward slightly. "There's just been so much on the line. So many people relying on me to make the right decisions."

There's a resounding burden weighing upon him, one he's carried alone for some time. He's had to balance the return of the werewolves to their land while ensuring I get as far away from him as possible. Only one of his objectives worked in his favour…

"When did you know you were the Alpha King?"

"Early in my childhood," he admits. "My parents both died young, so I was raised by a man who prepared me for the role. When we found out about the mistake in the treaty, we decided I would go back in and prepare for the treaties expiration. That was when I met you."

He angles his head, those cloudy grey eyes of his deep and unsettled.

"How long into knowing me did you realise I was going to be the one the Moon Goddess picked for you?" I ask, even if knowing his answer is slightly terrifying.

"Almost immediately." He draws in a shallow breath. "It's impossible to explain. It's just a feeling."

I look down at my hands, at the way my fingers knot together. I suppose I had a similar feeling when I first approached him in the library. There was something about him â€" something that felt an awful lot like a connection.

"Why me?" I ask, more to the universe than to him.

"We'll never know. I'm sure it has something to do with your strength, your resilience." He offers a tentative smile. "Look at you. You've just been connected to an Alpha within hours and you're not panicking. You're calm, taking everything in stride."

I press my fingertips against my temples. "My mind is a mess, though."

More than anything I'm numb. I can hardly comprehend my new reality, and if I'm honest, I'm more focused on my grimy exterior and stinging blisters.

"I'm sorry your choice has been taken from you. I'm going to do everything to give you a normal life, okay?" His stare is unrelenting, waiting for my acceptance.

"How?" I ask. "We can't be far a part."

"I can't spend too much time away this pack. Especially not in the early days." He threads his fingers through his hair. "However, I can come back to the city with you as often as possible so you can keep working."

I settle deep into the couch, feeling it's soft exhale of air from its depths. The thought of returning to the city is beyond jarring. I've become so entwined with this town since returning, and the thought of leaving now feels…wrong.

"I can work on my computer. I just write articles, remember?" I say pointedly, knowing I'm fighting off the reality of my old life so ardently because I'm scared of returning to it only to find I don't belong in it anymore.

His face is drawn. "You'll want to go back there."

"If I can't live there full time, I don't want to live there at all," I mutter, thinking of my stuffy little apartment and the life I endured there.

Venn inclines his head, his dark hair dusting over his forehead. "I'm so sorry, Alvera."

I turn to face him, straightening my shoulders. "Right now, there are bigger things to discuss."

Tumbling into an endless pit of despair is the least productive thing I can do right now. I need to focus on the future, on what I can do to make my life easier.

Venn looks a little startled. "Of course…"

"Are your people going to accept me?" I ask bluntly.

"They have always known I would be married to a human," he supplies.

"Are there any obligations I have to fulfil as your wife?" I shudder, repulsion echoing through me. "I hate even saying that."

"I will force you to do nothing. There will be events, there will be necessary visitation to the other packs, for example." He says it all with a grimace. "However, you are not required to do anything you're not comfortable with."

I let out a deep breath, grateful for that. To be trussed up every day and paraded around sounds like my own personal hell, and something I would greatly object to.

"Will you still help me find Belle?"

"Every member of my pack is aware that she is missing, and they are looking out for her," he assures me.

I blink. "Really?"

I can't imagine they are very inspired to be out finding a human girl with no attachment to me, but I appreciate the effort regardless. Any help to find Belle is better than nothing, and the towns people have been utterly useless so far.

"If it's important to you, it's important to me," he reminds me. "I want Belle back too."

"She was in love with you, you know," I blurt out.

I'm not even sure where that came from, but I've clearly been holding back. I'm not sure why the thought bothers me so much, especially when I don't have claim to either of their lives.

"Iâ€"" He glances down at his hands, something foreign lingering in his expression. "Yeah, I know."

"You didn't want her? She's beautiful," I note, giving him a hard look.

I say that knowing Belle is my twin, and despite our differences, we look largely the same. At least at some point, though, Venn was attracted to me.
 
"Belle is a sweet girl, but there was never any point of starting a relationship with someone who wasn't going to be my chosen," he explains, his words laden with unspoken meaning. "And…she's not who I want."

I don't dare ask him who he does want. Since I'm his chosen, I would be the only person he would be willing to start a serious relationship with, which is out of the question, and a thought I would very much like to not linger on.

"Understandable," I bite out, turning my attention back to the stew.

He waits until I'm finished all the food and drained the glass of water before he picks up the tray, ready to depart.

"Enjoy my bed tonight. I'll have a room made up just for you by tomorrow," he assures me with a dip of his head.

As he turns to go, a space suddenly hollows out in my chest.

"Venn?"

He turns. "Yes?"

"When am I going to…go through that monthly thing?" Just saying it makes me want to fall deep into the creases of the couch to escape mortification.
 
"The first time is impossible to predict and will occur at random. After that it will be easy to track," he assures me, although I know there is something else he isn't saying.

I rub the back of my neck. "What if you're nearby?"

"I'm sure your feelings will manifest as anger. There is nothing to worry about," he soothes, backing up a step.

I swallow thickly. I'm sure he is right…I'll have Eldon with me, after all, and I have plenty to be angry about. Perhaps I'll just think about all the Moon Goddess has done to me, and allow that to inspire a healthy bout of anger.

Regardless, a small twist in my stomach warns me that it may not go how I want it to.

❤️••❤️

If you want to read ahead at any point, you can read this story 15 chapters ahead on INKITT and 10 chapters ahead on RADISH.

Inkitt:

Radish:

~Midika 💜🐼