I did lot of kissing scenes (and even more) from my past projects. A peck would never cause havoc in my system. But I was wrong.
During camera rehearsal and angle checking, Jiwonie and I had to stay still. Our faces were just inches away. So close.. My heart started beating so fast. As reflex, I took a deep breath to calm down. This made Jiwonie open her eyes. She looked at me worryingly. I was the senior but she worried about me a lot. I was touched. Her eyes are so pretty. This was one of the longest eye contact we ever shared (where we didn't have to). Often, she couldn't look me in the eyes but I could feel her eyes on me. I got lost in her chocolate brown eyes that I forgot we were on set. Her eyes were doe-like and innocent, it made me feel seen. She understood me, and that, actually made me vulnerable.
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Jiwonie would also try to be low key attentive but I always noticed her efforts. She would give me a water or tea even without asking whenever my throat bothers me. She would receive my jokes well and play with me even when she was tired. She would wait for me to get into and out of my character. After that, she would give that sweet smile and praise me for a job well done. She was so considerate. Queen of consideration. I knew then that she liked me. I wasn't sure tho if it was romantic or just plain admiration. I wasn't sure of my feelings either. For now, all I wanted was to take care of her, to make her as comfortable as possible and to make sure she has fun during this one year of filming. I started doing things because it was part of my job as sunbae, but now, it felt natural. And with her, I felt like I became a better person.
Right after the good morning kiss, we shot other scenes in Hae In's bedroom. But with thoughts running in my head, I couldn't focus. I couldn't properly deliver a two-sentence dialogue. My face was burning hot. I was stuttering. I just hoped Jiwonie didn't put two and two together and find out I was flustered with a peck. That would make me look like a loser.
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