If I Fell

Chapter Ten

Focusing on the yogurt cup, I could feel the stiffness in my shoulders as I spun my spoon endlessly through what I didn’t believe was real fruit. Like, c’mon, it tasted more like rubber than strawberries. The campaigns aren’t fooling anybody.

To say the least; I was agitated. And I was taking my frustrations on an innocent yogurt cup that I’d gotten from the school cafeteria.

Every few seconds I would look away from my vigorous stirring to glance up to the doors of the cafeteria hopefully, and when I didn’t find what I was looking for I’d do a full search of the rest of the room. By the end of my search I’d be crestfallen before going back to the unfair treatment of the yogurt. Yet, once again, within minutes I’d be looking towards the doors just as hopefully.

At this moment I was at the hopeful moment of my schedule.

Deluding myself into thinking that this was the time he’d be walking through the doors – for about the fiftieth time – I raised my head, my hand pausing on the rapid stirring. But no one but some dotty looking junior was passing through those open double doors with people trailing behind him.

Not quite ready to give up hope on this try, I let my eyes drift about the spacious cafeteria space, searching the faces for a sign of him. But no such luck. Letting a sigh out between my lips, I focused again on the yogurt cup.

And commence the aggressive stirring.

All I wanted was for Cole to come through those doors and this horrible tension in my shoulders would release. I just needed to talk to him.

I wasn’t even sure how I was supposed to broach the subject of the fact he remembered something about me that my friends couldn’t be bothered with. It made guilt well up in the pit of my stomach at the fact that I’d only first noticed him a few weeks ago. How could all of this time pass by without me so much as recognizing his presence?

Then there was what I’d learned about him yesterday. I didn’t know why, but I felt like I needed to say something. Yet, at the same time, what was I supposed to say to him that didn’t sound like pity? Because I had a feeling he wouldn’t appreciate that. It would have been easier had I just said the right thing last night when we’d been talking in the car, but words never came that simply to anyone, let alone to me.

I’d spent the entire night unable to sleep, staring at the ceiling and imagining things I could have said. But nothing that’s perfect at night makes sense in the daylight.

All I knew was that I wanted to see him. Right now.

Actually, make that five minutes ago.

That morning I’d gotten Marcy to drive us early, and I whittled the spare time away standing with the group of my friends waiting anxiously for him to arrive at his locker across the hallway. But I hadn’t seen him. During my chemistry class, I’d squinted out of the window on the third floor into the parking lot and I’d seen his car, so he was here but I couldn’t find him. He wasn’t in any of my morning classes either.

So here I was, hoping anxiously for him to walk into the cafeteria as I beat that yogurt cup into a pulp with a frown.

To be honest I wasn’t even sure if I’d be able to get a word out when I was face to face with him, and those eyes of his would be staring me down. He had a way to take the words from my mouth in a way no one else did.

That thought made my frown deepen and I took up the stirring to an entirely new pace.

However a hand gripped my wrist tightly before I could really get at it, interrupting my program. Raising my eyes slowly from the big hand that easily held my delicate wrist, I moved up the arm to the lettermen jacket and straight at Mike.