If I Fell

Chapter Three

“Allison?”

At the sound of my name, I tipped my chin up, letting my spoon lean against the edge of the bowl thankfully. If I wasn’t going to eat it, I probably shouldn’t be stirring it around the way I was. Mom had always told me not to play with my food.

It took me a long moment to realize who was speaking to me; I had no notion if the voice had been male of female as I scoured the faces that were around the table in the cafeteria. Most of them were either eating or deep in conversation, but I eventually found it was Mike whose eyes were trained right on me.

“Yeah?” questioned I, cupping my chin in my hands as I forced myself to focus upon him solely.

“Where did you go?” he asked, a frown covering his face.

Giving a snort, I replied in a laugh, “What?”

“You totally just zoned out,” Mike informed me, “I tried talking to you, but you were just staring at your soup.”

I hitched up my shoulder in response, sending him a sympathetic look. I honestly didn’t mean to ignore him, though he had been talking about football, something I really did have zero interest in. Lately I seemed to be doing that more and more, I couldn’t understand why. My mother had even commented on the fact that I hadn’t been up to my usual mocking standard on reality television Wednesday night.

What was going on with me lately? I felt different, a little bit off. I actually hated it. It made me feel bored in a way I don’t think I ever had before, like I was just searching for something to gain my attention and excitement. Apathy wasn’t something I wanted to experience.

It wasn’t like I’d ever truly loved school, but I’d always paid attention, did my homework on time, kept very high grades. I liked my English classes. My friends were quite studious and had always had colleges in mind, like Todd – who happened to be Mike’s best friend – was expected to go to Dartmouth just like his father and so on, while Marcy had always wanted to go to Harvard like her parents. It seemed like everyone wanted to follow in their parents’ footsteps, go with tradition. My mom wanted me to go to Yale like she and my dad had, and I’d always agreed. That was where I was supposed to go.

But I just felt so damn bored with the thought of studying lately for just another test.

Blinking, I found Mike gazing at me expectantly through his big brown eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized, wincing as I realized I’d been caught not listening to him again. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

Thankfully in the moment that the words left my mouth, the bell reverberated through the room, causing a sigh of relief to escape my mouth, though I hoped it wasn’t clear to the boy across from me. Not to rip off a television show, but I was saved by the bell. I obviously wasn’t going to be able to force myself to listen to Mike today.

Sending him an apologetic smile, I gripped the tray for my food and stood up. “I’ll see you later,” I promised.

“I’ll walk you to your locker!” he volunteered brightly.

Biting back the groan that came to my tongue, I just forced the smile to stay on my face as I walked away; tossing the soup I’d barely touched into the garbage as he trailed behind me.

All the sudden he was right at my elbow, so close that we were brushing and I had to resist the urge to inch away from him while we moved to leave the cafeteria, Mike already beginning to chatter. “So, like I was saying, we’re trying to think of some new variations of plays for us. The other teams are figuring it all out; Trevor is getting sacked all the time…”