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Elani Renee Davis
Beep.. beep.. beep.. beep.
"I don't even know if you got family or anybody around that I should be calling right now. Fuck. J-just wake up please." my voice began to crack. I didn't know what to do.
I looked around the white room and then back at him as if that little scan around would allot enough time for Crew to finally wake up. And just as I suspected, it did nothing. His eyes were more shut than they'd already been. It'd been 72 hours since his eyes closed on me and it's felt like a downward spiral immediately ever since. The doctor's said they'd done all they could do and that "this part is all on him" whatever the fuck that meant. I fucking hate hospitals.
I didn't even realize I was crying again until I started feeling droplets on the back of my hand, which was now resting on top of Crew's right hand, that hadn't moved in days. I'd been on and off crying, this situation was something I couldn't prepare myself for. Before I could even wipe away the tears, I felt his hand twitch under mine.
"Ew, excuse me ma'am, please try not to stain the valuable material." he joked raspily, rubbing the back of his hand off on my sleeve. I gasped and jumped up from my seat, "Crew! Ohmygosh you're awake, I've gotta get a nurs- NURSE! NURSE, COME QUICK!" I said running towards the door, spotting a nurse fumbling around at the desk.
"Ma! Relax. I'm the one strapped to machines and you in full blown panic mode." he laughed, as i finally made eye contact with the nurse. I felt myself take what felt like the first breath in a while. I looked back at him after seeing fer finally coming our way. That motherfucker didn't even rush. I. Hate. Hospitals.
I returned to my seat near his bed, that I'd pulled closer than designated so I wouldn't miss anything. "I'm sorry Crew." I stated barely above a whisper.
I heard Crew smack his lips before he said, "Yeen got nothing to be sorry for. This shit ain't ya' fault--".
I couldn't even focus on whatever else he was saying. It was my fault in my eyes, I mean, how couldn't it be? He wouldn't be in the hospital shot up with 4 bullet hole wounds if it weren't for his affiliation with me. Had it not been for the fact that we were the only two together, I'd probably be hiding somewhere from just the guilt alone.
"You hear me?" he stated with a confused expression. I nodded once I realized I'd zoned out.
"My bad, I'm just a little tired I guess. I haven't really been to sleep ever since.. well, y'know." I trailed off gesturing the hospital bed. Guilt was immediately taking away major chunks of me as realization kept sinking in. This was my fault. I may not have pulled the trigger, but I might as well had.
