"Did you know that America has never lost a war when donkeys were involved?"
"...What."
He gave you an exasperated look before sighing deeply and you just shrugged with a smile, but then you scoffed, offended, when he ran a hand down his face tiredly.
"Don't give me that look, you were being quiet!" You defended, crossing your arms, "Something you should know about me is, I can't stand awkward silences."
"It's true – has led to some very embarrassing confessions on Gallagher's part." Carol smirked and you scowled at her next to you with Thor on your other side.
"Yes, I was being quiet because you refuse to give me a simple name or description!" He shouted and you rolled your eyes, slumping back in your chair stubbornly as he started slowly pacing the room in front of the table you three were sitting at, looking over his notes.
"I gave you," You spoke slowly since you were repeating yourself and getting sick of it, "A description."
"Oh, right!" His laugh was sarcastic and humorless as he flipped the page back in his notebook with a bit of a dramatic flair that you didn't hate, "You said the man who 'brought you three here on a boat' was ...'brunette and male and might've had a stash like Tom Selleck'."
"That last part," Thor lifted his head from where he had his face buried in his arms on the table, his eyes bloodshot, and his hair sticking up every which way, "Is not confirmed."
"Right...so, I'm having a hard time seeing why you're not out there right now trying to find him! Are you a detective or are you a mouse?"
"I don't know where you're from ma'am," He scoffed, closing his notebook again to give you a pointed look, "But here in Canada, we do things a-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" You cut him off, putting your hands up, but the heels of your palms were still on top of the table, "You're telling me, we're in the country where they use play money as valid forms of currency?"
"Miss, that's not-"
"I didn't know we were in Candyland! Oh, fuck me," You laughed loudly, shaking your head in disbelief, "I mean, sure," You stood up, gesturing for the other two to follow suit as you spoke, and smoothing down your top, "Who didn't have a crush on the lollipop princess when they were around five and then by eight, you knew it was really the ice cream queen giving vibes, but – and I mean this with no offense," You started heading for the door with your friends trudging behind tiredly, "You guys couldn't find a moose if it was stuck to your bare ass with maple syrup," You shook your head in disgust when he blocked the exit, crossing his arms, "We're wasting our time here, so good day to you sir!"
"Now hold on a minute, you can't-"
"I said good day!" You furrowed your eyebrows when he stopped you again, "Um, what the hell? Let us out of monopoly jail – we're done here, we wanna pass go and I have a date in three hours!" You paused, "Well, not a date, really, more of-"
"The girl she's in love with invited her to see a movie. Alone," Carol filled in, half asleep where she stood since you guys were up the whole night before, "Very date-like, but they'll never admit it."
"Spooky girl is shy or simply closed off," Thor shrugged, "And Gallagher is what our friend Darcy calls, 'in a state of constant gay panic'."
"You just reported a possible kidnapping, that you three escaped, because you saw some man yelling out that he had 'free grilled cheeses and chocolates' – I can't let you leave."
"Not just any chocolates – Jaffacakes," You corrected lowly, "A personal favorite – them and mallomars? Diabetes take the wheel!"
"And not just 'some' man," Carol scoffed while you mumbled something about that being a reasonable reason to get on a stranger's boat and Thor was nodding along, "He was a seaman."
