Me: What's up?
Crush: Just boats
Me: What???
Crush: Because I ship us
Me: That's it. I'm keeping you in my basement and you will never escape. I've already got the rope, duct tape, chair, and blindfold.
Crush: O.o How will you even catch me?
Me: I've got Nutella.
Crush: I'll be there in 5 minutes. Can you set up Netflix, too?
Me: Slow down there! We need to take things one step at a time!
Crush: O.O NO! I JUST WANTED TO WATCH NETFLIX I SWEAR! PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M A CREEP! OH GOD I'M GOING TO HELL, AND SATAN AND I ARE GOING TO BECOME FRIENDS!
Me: Don't worry... I want to be more than friends *wink wonk*
Crush: ...
Me: Can we still watch Netflix?
