The Bride

Chapter 20 - Hope in the Darkness

I stumble back into the doorway. Where am I? I think as I gaze about in confusion. Why am I in a church, a packed church, at a, I see a casket and flowers at the front, a funeral? I vaguely recognize the people in the back rows as people from school. This is so strange I think. I don't recall driving here. Whose funeral is this? Is that Father? What is he doing here, oh and look he brought his newest toy with him. Gee I wonder if she gets a black eye when she runs. I slowly approach the front of the room, thankful that I am not late and that no one is looking at me. Next to dad I see the twins who are clutching hands with an almost regretful look on their face. Oh gosh I hope no one at their school died. Maybe that's why I'm here to show them I still care. I wish I could recall who the kid was and what had happened. I feel kind of stupid here at a funeral for someone and not knowing exactly how I got here and who it's for.

I keep looking around the room hoping for clues that will spark my memory and am surprised to see Matt a couple rows further up from Father. Matt being here isn't odd – he'd come to support the twins too, but him sitting so far away from Father is odd. I wonder if there wasn't any room in the row and he had to move because of that. Satisfied with that thought, although surprised he isn't glancing back for approval like the good little Daddy's Boy he is. In fact he is hunched over like he is trying to pretend he isn't there. Odd.

My eyes dart around the room, spotting odd acquaintances and people from school. A pretty red head is sitting toward the front with a bunch of people that look like her family. Many of them are crying and I think this must be the kid's family. The red head girl looks to be my age and she is really striking. I see her glare across the room toward the area my family is sitting, and wonder if she sees someone by Father who shouldn't be here. An older woman who looks really familiar but who I would swear I've never met follows her look, glares as well and then puts her arm around the girl and directs her attention forward.

A somber looking minister approaches the raised podium in front of the casket and addresses the crowd. "We are here today to pay tribute and respect to this, God's child, who has been tragically called home at such a young age. We are here to show our love and support, to seek and to receive comfort and hopefully find some peace in knowing that this precious child is now at home with God. We must acknowledge the sadness and suddenness of her loss and the way our hearts ache over this situation. However we must also come together as a community and take from this a valuable lesson that life is precious and fleeting. So as we pay our final respects to this child of God, Rebecca, who tragically ended her own life so suddenly just a short week ago today..."

At my name I gasp in disbelief, surely I would recall that the twins' friend had my name. I glance back at my family. Bimbo is bawling loudly. The twins are watching her with disgust. Father has his blank face on but Matt, is hunched over with real tears streaming down face. Deciding it must be a friend of Matt's, who happens to have my name, I quickly walk back to him, disgusted that Father let him be alone in his time of need. Quickly approaching him I kneel down in the aisle.

"Hey bro," I say gently as I touch his knee, he doesn't respond. "Matt, I'm here for what it's worth." Still nothing. "Matt." I say a bit louder and then again louder still. He isn't responding and a quiet voice in my head says "He can't hear or see you. Nobody can." I shake off the odd voice as a mind trick and say his name again, this time in a loud enough voice that will snap him out of his shock. I don't care if I get odd looks, I need him to snap out of it and talk to me. Oddly, no one looks at me and I start to wonder if this isn't some sick dream. Then I see something else. Someone else. I run up to the front of the aisle to Jeff and his family. I glance anxiously at each one, who are all have teary eyes, before focusing on Jeff's beloved face. He looks like he is one step away from completely breaking down, his eyes are red and tears are dripping down his face. He isn't looking at the minister like everyone else. His eyes are focused on the casket and the pictures surrounding it.