girl for rent » h.s.

Chapter 50

*Leah's POV*

I couldn't feel my limbs. Everything was numb and painted grey, and in that moment of daze, all I could do was turn to Keegan and mumble an incoherent apology as I stepped out of the car and closed the door behind me. His eyebrows were smashed together in a deep frown and he called out for me multiple times but I was too consumed in my thoughts to listen, let alone turn around and reply to him. Liam was standing on the edge of the pavement and grabbed me towards him, as we both paced quickly to where he had parked his car. The ride to the hospital was silent, only our breaths echoing through the car, and some old song playing on the radio.

I'm not sure how fast he went, but we made it to the hospital in less than ten minutes, which was quite a record for New York, especially on a Friday night. He found a parking spot close to the entrance and we both ran to the gates. I stood back and waited while he asked for information about Harry and when we got what we needed, we continued running.

The hallway was filled with families and patients and doctors and nurses, all of them busy, some of them waiting. I couldn't stand the smell of this place, it reminded me off all things bad and how my family slipped away from my hands right before I could realise what was going on. Tears pricked in my eyes but I held them back; it's not the right time to cry.

"Here" Liam mumbled and pulled me in an elevator. The silence blanketing us was suffocating me and I rubbed my hands together to ease some of the tension, even though it wasn't working. When a small bell sounded and the doors rolled open, we sprinted outside Liam got ahead of me, showing me the way.

I'm not sure how much we ran but Liam stopped abruptly when he found a doctor holding some papers and writing down things. He motioned me to come closer and I pressed against Liam's side.

"What happened? Is he okay?" Liam asked, his voice radiating pure agony. "Before I left you told me he'd get into surgery, what happened? Did he make it? Is he okay? Can we see him now-"

The doctor took a step back and looked at some nurses exiting the hospital room behind him, then turned back to us. "Mr. Styles didn't make it. His internal bleeding was too intense; we lost him before we could even prepare the surgery. I'm sorry for your loss." With that, he walked away.

Silence.

My whole body felt numb, it was like air had sucked in from my lungs. Everything was blue and black, and I felt like I was choking in tears running down my cheeks. Liam was calling my name but I couldn't hear him, I didn't even know what to tell him. Most importantly, I didn't know how to deal with this loss; it was like losing my parents all over again. I tried so hard to patch my shattered heart all these years, just to watch it breaking again.

Stumbling through the hallway, I found a plastic chair to sit and I seized the chance, letting my body slouch over it, closing my eyes. Harry was gone. He passed away. Just like my family did a few years ago. And I'd never be able to tell him how much I love him or how much he means to me now. How stupid I was, holding a grudge for what happened for so long. Why didn't I forgive him when he found me at the airport? Why was I so fucking stubborn?

"Leah." I rolled my head up and faced Liam with bloodshot eyes and a sad smile hanging on his lips. He took the seat next to mine and rubbed my back soothingly. Leaning to him, I began to sob roughly and cry, using the palms of my hand to hide my face. He held me tight and pressed his cheek on top of my head and we remained cuddled up for hours, I'm not sure how many. At some point, his mother came but Liam told me about that, I was sleeping on the chairs. She was hurting even more than both of us combined, and it was all my fault. If I had forgiven him that day, he wouldn't drive drunk and had the crash. If I hadn't told him about Keegan and my new job, none of this would've happen now.

He'd be alive and well and we would be happy and his mother wouldn't scream and cry now, and our eyes wouldn't be swollen from all the tears falling. It's all my fault. Again.

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i'm sorry ok