"Hey love what are you doing" Niall says
"I just miss my baby bump" I say turning to face him
"I know my love. One day I can give you another one" Niall says kissing my face
"I know you will one day. I just wish he could of grew bigger" I say
"Me too love" Niall says
"I was thinking. Could we have one" I say
"What do you mean" Niall says
"Could we try for a baby" I say
"Fi I don't know. I would love to but you should really keep taking your birth control and we should wait. I think I just need some time to just be with you" Niall says
"oh...yeah.. I-I understand" I say
I just walk out of the room and go into the bathroom that's in the hall way. I lock the door behind me and shuffle underneath the sink looking for a blade. I take out the razor from Zayn's bag and break it on the side of the sink. Once it's broken I take the blade and put it on my stomach.
There's no more room on my arms so I decided to cut my stomach up. I make a bunch of cuts and then just watch the blood run down my stomach and onto my sweats. I don't care who sees anymore. I just don't want to feel like this anymore. It feels like there's just so much pain in my life and I don't know how else to handle it anymore.
I throw the blade and the broken razor into the trash can and clean up my stomach. I roll my pants once so the blood isn't able to be seen. Yeah they will see the cuts on my stomach but I just don't want them to touch me.
I walk out of the bathroom and past Niall's room. I see him sitting on his bed just on his phone. He doesn't see me though so I just continue to walk down the hall and go to the steps. I go down the steps and walk into the kitchen to where Harry is. He is doing the dishes from this mornings breakfast. I go over to the fridge and pull out a plastic water bottle and start drinking it.
"Fi what happened to your stomach" Harry says just loud enough for Louis to hear in the living room
"oh it's nothing" I say
"What happened" Louis says walking into the kitchen
"Fi cut her stomach up" Harry says
"What. why would you do that" Louis says hurrying over to me to look
"It's really nothing I swear. I just got upset and broke Zayn's razor to get the blade out and then one thing lead to another" I say
"Fi this is a big deal why are you acting like it's not" Harry says
"Because it isn't. Cutting is what I do when I get upset and it help me" I say
"Why were you upset" Louis says
"It doesn't matter" I say
"It's because she asked me to have a baby with her and I told her no because I need time to get over everything and I want her to get better first" Niall says from the kitchen doorway.
"Fi.what. you want a baby after what happened. I though you were still grieving" Louis says
"I am but I just want you all to stop feeling sorry for me. i'm 19 years old and I just want to be treated like I'm not broken" I say
"BUT YOU ARE BROKEN OPHELIA. YOU ARE. YOU NEED TO SEE THAT YOU NEED HELP ADN YOU NEED TO SEE THAT WE WANT TO HELP YOU" Louis yells
YOU ARE READING
My Beautiful Secret (One Direction Story)
FanfictionYou might be wondering who I am and how I'm related to the band but that isn't as important as it sounds at the moment. Right now I need to make sure my secret is being kept so my brother and the world don't find out who my boyfriend is. Especially...
