I Love You, I'm Sorry / Otto Hightower / Vaera Targaryen

15. Shattered

"It is ignorance and vanity." Otto hissed. "You know as well as I do that Aegon must be kept in check. As does Ser Criston. The two of them together... " he dreaded the thought, he couldnt stay here and watch them burn the capital down. 

"Ser Criston is not temperate..." Alicent countered. "but his devotion cannot be questioned. If it does come to war..."

" He's ensured it. He's young and unschooled. His faith is in steel and bone. He has not the long view." Otto countered. Otto had lived and served long enough to not just focus on this battle but the next and after the war was over, not just the heat of the moment. A wise king would see that but of course, Aegon was not wise. He was a damn fool. 

"None of them do." Alicent agreed.

"They wish now not for the good of the realm, but for the petty satisfaction of vengeance." Otto hissed knowing what he had to do. 

"Aegon is still malleable. It is the death of the child that has unstrung him." Alicent assured. "Vaera's presence is a distraction and... well the people believe she is trying to bring about our ruin."

"You believe that. not Aegon." Otto countered. "And not myself." 

"It is strange is it not?" Alicent countered. "The council infiltrated, you replaced by her childhood friend?"

"You seem to be close with Cole, he has been your guard, not hers for years." Otto countered, Alicent turned her nose up.  "No matter what you believe, I can't stay here. Exiled from the council. Witness to the blundering of our plans." Otto admitted. "I'll return to Oldtown. The Hightowers still have strength, and you have a son there who will take more kindly to instruction. Daeron may yet help us in weeks to come." Otto added already thinking of requesting Vaera to come with him. 

"Go rather to Highgarden. The Tyrells must be taken in hand." Alicent countered. "Their bannermen are wavering. While you're gone, I'll speak sense to him. His blood will cool. In time, you may yet return."

"The young are peacocks... all shrieking and feathers." Otto said grabbing her hand. "But we will yet prevail and bring forth peace, I still believe it. As long as you and I hold fast."

"I have sinned." Alicent choked out.

"I do not wish to hear of it." Otto corrected knowing he was surrounded by idiots here. "I will take one buden off your plate however." 

"What?"

"I will take Vaera and the children with me." Otto remarked. 

"Why?" Alicent countered hesitantly. 

"Because I like her company and you hate her." Otto offered. 

"Why would she go with you?" Alicent countered sharply. 

"I'm charming and can be rather convincing to a stable mind." 

"Come with me to high garden and old town." Otto requested. "It will be safer there. Less memories... I will kep you and the children safe." He added. Vaera didn't hesitate she packed up the children and they set off. Aegon was furious that Otto was stealing his one true love but Alicent assured him it was for the best. Although Vaera had been on her best behavior Alicent didnt want her here. 

Otto watched as vaera wrapped her arms around herself every night as her husband might have done. It filled him with sadness to see.

Otto remembered the moons after his wife's passing, how lonely they were. How the craving to be held still lingered. The craving to be touched, even in the simplest of ways. 

An overwhelming urge to hold her filled him. Otto moved to vaera laying down beside her he slowly wrapped an arm around her waist pulling her back into him. Vaera tensed before relaxing, looking back at him otto offered her a fraction of a smile.

"I miss him." Vaera whispered. "Its been less than 2 moons."

"It gets easier." Otto whispered into her ear. 

"Does it? My heart feels broken. Shattered. How does one mend a shattered heart?"

"Hopefully the moons journey south will give your heart time." Otto offered as she interwind her fingers with his around her waist.