How to Write Smut

Five

Hello, once again, Shay Badcocke.

Since you want to do this, I complied with your demands.

Mostly because my mum taught me to be a gentleman, you see.

Anyway, here is some info that you might find interesting.

I have group O positive blood type.

I don't have any diseases, but I do however have asthma. Is that a disease?

I broke my leg once in the 2nd grade. I did cry—manly tears, might I add.

No, I don't have aids, or any sexual transmitted diseases.

Other than these, I have had no medical problems other than a few colds here and there. I have a daily workout schedule, so I do hope I can have an extra room or space to carry over a few of my equipment. A man has to keep in shape, yeah?

Anyhow, I hope this information is good enough for you, Miss Badcocke. I'm quite interested in your proposition.

Until then.

-Harry S.

I could not help but feel ultimately relieved when I read that he had no diseases, well, except for asthma, but it wasn't like he could give it to me. I was very concerned after our lunch meeting that I made a horrible mistake; I was going to bring in a man I have never met, into my home, without having any background information.

However, once I finished reading his email, it finally dawned on me that I haven't yet asked for his criminal records. If Harry had ever been emitted into prisononce, I was most certainly going to cancel this whole deal.

I did not want to die.

I was still young, and I had yet to publish a book and fulfill my dream.

Harry,

Thank you so much for complying, I appreciate you taking the time to give me your information. However, I have forgotten to ask you to send any criminal records, if you have any "bad" reputation. Please understand that I am welcoming you where I live; I would like to know that I won't be under the same roof with a psychotic killer.

Thank you.

-Shay Badcocke

A few seconds had passed when a messenger box finally popped up with Harry's username.

Harry: I'm not a criminal, Shay. I've never been to prison. I've been in one fight before, and that was with my best friend in middle school, and I can't even remember why we fought. I don't consider myself a pacifist, but I'm no criminal.

I sighed in relief before typing back.

Shay: I am very relieved, thank you.

Harry: So is the deal still on?

Shay: Yes.

Harry: So when am I moving in?

Shay: I haven't thought of that yet, actually.

Harry: What about tomorrow?

Shay: Tomorrow?

Harry: Yeah.

Shay: That's sudden, don't you think?

Harry: Nope. I think tomorrow is perfect.

Shay: Alright, fine. What time tomorrow is good for you?