A guide to writing good smut

Safe-words

First of all, what is a safeword?

A safeword is a word (sometimes multiple or a phrase) used to indicate during s3x or a BDSM scene that one of the participants is not feeling comfortable anymore and wants to stop.

There are different kinds and different systems for them, so let's talk about it!

Regular safewords

- a regular safewords is a stop-out button for any kind of intimate activity
- it puts an immediate stop to anything that's going on
- it should be a word that would not commonly come up naturally in the middle of the moment
- for example, it could be a food, a random object, an animal, etc
- the safeword can be used by any participant and is always free for anyone
- safewords are not earned
- anyone can use a safeword and if their partner(s) ignore it, that is assault
- ignoring safewords can be part of BDSM play, in which there needs to be a second safeword in place in case the person really wants out

Safewords systems and check-ins

- you may have heard of the color light system, it's probably the most widely known safeword system
- green means "all good, continue"; yellow means "slow down, take a break", or they're unsure about something and want to discuss it first; red means "stop immediately"
- this is a very useful system as it allows for the involved participants to check in on one another by asking for their current color
- this can also help to make sure the other person is still comfortable with something that their partner just newly introduced to the situation
- check-ins can be very very helpful since many people may be shy or insecure about voicing their needs or feelings during sex
- again, these safewords are available for everyone and do not have to be earned

Safe-action

- sometimes, a scene may involve that one person cannot speak
- maybe they're muzzled, maybe restricted, maybe they can't get a good breath, are in a headspace where they don't talk, or are stuck in a panic reaction and cannot verbally use the safeword
- that's what a safe-action is for
- it replaces the safeword with a simple action
- for example tapping the other person twice, snapping with the fingers, touching a specific body part etc
- same rules apply as to the safewords above

Toxic behavior

- a play partner/s3xual partner is being toxic when:
- they ignore the safeword without previous discussion and consent
- they don't put a second safeword in place in case they have established the safeword would be ignored
- they claim that safewords have to be earned
- they claim safewords are only for subs
- they refuse to use a safeword at all
- they get angry at their partner for using the safeword
- they shame their partner for using the safeword or get annoyed at them
- they discourage their partner from using the safeword
- they don't do check ups that have been agreed on

If any of these are the case, it's a case of assault and abuse

Writing about safewords

- using a safeword can make your smut scene that more interesting
- it really shows what the relationship is like between characters
- it's a way to show off their healthy or toxic relationship
- it can be used to write great fluff and aftercare, or bad angst and toxicity
- Safewords aren't always used because someone is having a panic attack, they might just need to pee or something
- you can have a character "try out" the safeword just because they want to be sure it's actually being respected
- the "toxic ex who ignored the safeword" is always a good trope
- don't have your characters claim they don't "need" a safeword unless they're so vanilla that "stop please" can do the trick, and even then it could still be useful
- you can write your characters doing check-ins on each other or one on the other to make it extra fluffy or to give a sense of security to the readers as they read about very intense smut to show that it's all safe, sane and consentual
- safewords can take some of the pressure off you, your characters, and your readers, making everyone more comfortable with the situation even if it's unconventional
- when a character uses their safeword, you can jump straight to aftercare or have the other person be super concerned and sweet

Get creative with your writing, I hope this was helpful to some of you
Have a lovely day and feel free to ask any questions in the comments I will make sure to answer them <3