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Not long after, she heard the roar of his car pulling away, the sound rattling through her chest like a thunderclap. She clenched her eyes shut, willing the tears that threatened to escape to stay hidden. Her chest tightened as she fought the flood of emotions building inside her.
For over an hour, she sat on the bed, her head resting against the headboard. Her mind churned as the minutes crawled by. The distant sound of the cleaners going about their work in the living room and her own bedroom was a faint reminder that life moved on, even when her heart felt stuck. The clock told her it was still two hours before noon, but it felt as though time had slowed, trapping her in a swirl of thoughts.
Her mind wandered back to his words, cutting deep and without hesitation. He had asked her if she'd intercede for him when he stood with his parents before Allah. The weight of that question hung heavy in the air between them, lingering long after he'd spoken it.
She drew in a shaky breath, mentally scolding herself for raising her voice at him. She hated the way his words were so sharp, so blunt, yet delivered with a calm that made her feel as though nothing she said mattered. Still, she knew raising her voice hadn't helped. The bitter truth gnawed at her—maybe it wasn't even her place to speak if he hadn't brought it up first.
As anger, frustration, and guilt began to take their toll, she reached for her phone, desperate for a distraction. She called Hanan, chatting for an hour, then dialed Ammi to greet her. Still, the unrest in her heart remained. She sent a message to her dad, and called her friends, including Zarah. None of them picked up, likely still asleep. The silence was suffocating.
Ameerah's call came as a lifeline. "Are you free?" she asked. Jadwa responded with a quick yes, eager for anything that might pull her from the spiral of her own thoughts. Needing to occupy herself, she went into her room and began unraveling her tiny braids. She worked at them for the next hour, though she'd only undone a quarter of her hair. Her arms ached from the effort, and just as her mind drifted back to his words, the floodgates opened. Tears spilled down her cheeks as his voice echoed in her head. His maddening calmness, his nonchalance—it always cut so deep, like ice beneath her skin. He was so composed, even when angry, while she felt her emotions crack and break.
As she cried, she pulled at more braids, trying to keep busy until Ameerah called again to say she had arrived. Wiping her face quickly, Jadwa rushed into the bathroom to splash cold water over her tear-stained cheeks.
"Assalamu Alaikum," Ameerah greeted her, slightly out of breath, one hand resting on her waist.
"Wa Alaykum Assalam, Big Sis," Jadwa replied, her voice cracking.
"What's wrong? Morning sickness?" Ameerah gasped, her eyes widening with playful concern.
Jadwa rolled her eyes, unable to stop a laugh from escaping. "I've only been married for a little less than three weeks!" she sniffed between chuckles.
Ameerah laughed, brushing off her own assumption before collapsing onto Jadwa's bed. "I'm just messing with you. But when the time comes, you'll want to move downstairs—these stairs aren't for the faint of heart," she teased, glancing apologetically at her swollen belly.
Jadwa's smile faltered for a moment as she stood up. "I'm so sorry, let me get you something to cool off," she offered, calling for one of the maids to bring refreshments.
"Jadu," Ameerah called as Jadwa settled on the floor, facing her.
"Na'am?" Jadwa forced a smile, trying to appear normal.
