Eternal Love

still into you

"After all this time, I'm still into you." -Paramore

Solana

5 years, 4 months, 2 weeks and 3 days. 

That is how long it's been since I've last seen him. Yet here he is standing across the room in the entrance of my place of business. 

Semaj. My first love. And I felt anger rising in me at the fact it still feels like time stands still when he is in the same room as me. And then it happened. 

Our eyes locked. 

Once that happened it's like he was on a mission, he was the predator and I was his prey. He moved female hands from disrupting his path, he ignored the stares and the gazes as his eyes dared me to move from my spot. 

I crossed my arms and broke eye contact when he was standing just in front of me. "What do you want?"

"You. That never changed, Soul. Can we talk?" Semaj bit his lip reaching out uncrossing my arms and I smacked my lips pulling my arms away from his touch even though it lit me up inside. His touch still had the same affect on me that it always has and it started to overwhelm me. Because how can he still mean this much to me after so long. 

"5 years too late for that Maji." I turned and walked away from him to the back exit and I pushed the door open and stepped outside. I blew out a breath realizing he had followed me and he wrapped his arms around me from behind. I snatched away from him and created distance. "Don't even. You have some nerve."

"Baby, you gotta let me explain, I didn't wanna leave you, mama, I never wanna be without you but I had to, we had to, and you know that," Semaj spoke softly to me and he backed me into the brick wall that was opposite of the door. "Look, I know you workin' and I'm not tryna stop you, but just give me a chance, hear me out. I know you still love me baby. I know you do. This thing we share it's forever. I got a room at the Luxury Hotel, room 1209. I'll be there all day today. Please come. I miss you. You still so beautiful, damn. Let me look at you. Damn."

"Maj, I gotta go back to work," I whisper unable to look at him and he tilts my chin up making me do it anyway. He looks over my face with his lip tucked in before he licked them and kissed my forehead softly. 

"I hope to see you later. Please." He kisses my hand before he walks away from me. Once he is out of sight, I let out a deep breath before heading back inside.

9 pm rolled around and here I was standing in front of 1209. Yet I couldn't find the courage to knock on the door and so I turned to walk away when the door swung open. 

"Solana? You came.." Semaj breathed and I turned back to face him and he stepped aside and I walked around him into the room. 

"You staying in a hotel room, hm, so how long you here before you leave again??" I crossed my arms looking at my ex. He had more tattoos then he did the last time I saw him, his arms covered in them. Some even went up his neck. 

"I deserve that, but I'm not going nowhere, I'm just here until I find an apartment," Semaj spoke up and he kept his eyes on mine. "I'm not going nowhere unless it's with you."

"How many times have you said that to me?" I tilted my head to the side finding it funny how he just expected me to beliee that same lie over and over. "When shit gets hard, that's what you do, you leave. No explanation, no goodbye-"

"I don't know how to say goodbye to you mama, I can't, if I would have told you you wouldn't of let me go. I wouldn't be able to because I'd just keep falling into you, and I didn't have no choice to leave," Semaj brushed my hair out of my face as he stepped closer to me. "I didn't have a choice."