Heart at risk

8. as I tried to be the bravest soldier.

Penelope had been staying at her mother's house for three weeks now. Each day, her mother and Rae doted on her, showering her with attention and support. The comfort was a stark contrast to the chaos she had left behind, but it also felt stifling, as if every gesture of kindness came with an unspoken expectation.

Colin's letters arrived daily, a constant reminder of the life she'd temporarily abandoned. Each one was filled with concern and love, though Penelope's responses were infrequent and weighed down with hesitation. She managed to write back only once a week, struggling to find the right words amidst her own swirling doubts.

Her mother's joy was palpable, especially with the prospect of an heir. Plans for a nursery and baby names were already discussed with fervor, but Penelope's participation was more subdued. The excitement surrounding the baby felt foreign to her, as if she were an observer in her own life.

Rae had become her steadfast ally, though her protective nature had kept Colin at bay. He visited daily, but Rae's reasons for sending him away—Penelope needed rest, she wasn't ready to see him—were a smokescreen for Penelope's own fears. She was not prepared to face Colin, and her uncertainty about the pregnancy only made the thought of an encounter more daunting.

But as the days passed, Penelope's longing to see Colin began to outweigh her fears. She had spent countless hours reflecting on her feelings, and it became increasingly clear that she missed him more than she had allowed herself to admit. She had always loved Colin. The love that had once felt so certain and strong was still there, despite the distance and the silence.

The sudden ring of the doorbell echoed through the house, jolting Penelope from her thoughts. Her heart skipped a beat, a mix of excitement and anxiety flooding her senses. She bolted from her seat, her feet moving almost on their own accord toward the hallway.

Rae was already on her way to the door, her steps purposeful but her face shadowed with concern. Penelope's voice reached her just as Rae's hand touched the door handle.

'If it is Colin,' Penelope said breathlessly, her voice tinged with urgency, 'let him in. I wish to speak with him.'

Rae paused, her hand hesitating on the door. She looked at Penelope, her expression a mix of surprise and worry. 'Are you sure certain Mrs. Bridgerton? I can—'

'I am certain,' Penelope interrupted, her voice firm but pleading. 'I need to see him. I need to do this. Please, Rae.' Rae's face softened with reluctant understanding. With a sigh, she opened the door, and Penelope's heart raced as she hid from behind her door, her eyes only visible. The hall was dimly lit, casting long shadows as the door creaked open.

Colin stepped into the foyer, his figure slightly silhouetted by the soft light from the hallway. The door creaked slightly as Rae stepped aside, and Penelope's anxiety surged. She watched him intently, her eyes barely peeking out from her hiding spot behind the door.

Colin looked around, his gaze searching the room as he stepped further inside. His eyes caught sight of Penelope's figure standing in the shadows behind the doorframe, and his expression shifted to one of hope mixed with concern. 'Penelope?' Colin's voice was soft, filled with an almost hesitant hope. 'Are you there?'

Penelope's breath caught in her throat. She remained hidden, her body pressed against the wall, her eyes peeking out from behind the doorframe. She watched as Colin's face became more strained, his eyes scanning the door for signs of her.

Colin took a tentative step forward, his eyes lingering on the shadows where Penelope was partially obscured. 'Penelope, I... I know you are present. If... if you desire to see me...' He paused, his voice trembling slightly. 'I... I would love to see you,' he added.