Heart at risk

14. A pathological people pleaser

As the first light of dawn began to filter through the curtains, Penelope stirred, her sleep fitful and filled with uneasy dreams. She woke with a start, her heart pounding as the memories of the night before flooded back. For a moment, she lay still, trying to gauge how she felt. The cramping had subsided, and there was no new pain, but the fear was still there, lurking in the back of her mind.

She knew she couldn't keep going like this, trapped in a cycle of fear and worry. She needed to take action, to find out for sure if something was wrong. But the thought of doing so filled her with dread. What if the news was bad? What if her fears were confirmed?

Penelope took a deep breath, trying to calm the rising tide of panic. She couldn't let fear paralyze her. She needed to be strong, to face whatever came next with courage. And she knew she couldn't do it alone.

Determined, Penelope pushed back the covers and slowly got out of bed. She would speak to Rae, even to Colin if she had to. She would find out what was happening to her, and she would face it head-on. No more running, no more hiding. 

As Penelope descended the grand staircase, her footsteps light and hesitant, she tried to steady her breathing, repeating to herself that she could get through this. She turned to see Rae emerging from one of the adjacent rooms, her expression concerned as she approached. Rae's eyes met Penelope's, and for a moment, neither of them spoke. 

'Good morning, Mrs. Bridgerton,' Rae's voice was gentle. Penelope opened her mouth to speak, but the words caught in her throat. She had been so determined to face this alone, but now, standing before Rae, she realized just how much she needed someone else to share the burden.

'I... I found blood last night,' she whispered, her voice barely audible. 

Rae's face softened with immediate concern, and she closed the distance between them, placing a comforting hand on Penelope's arm. 'Oh, Penelope,' she murmured, her voice a mix of sympathy and alarm. 'Why did you not come to me right away? You must have been frightened.'

Penelope nodded, her eyes welling up with tears she had been too afraid to shed before. 'I was terrified,' Penelope whispered, her voice trembling. 'But then, Rae... I felt him kick.'

Rae pulled back slightly, her eyes widening with a mix of surprise and cautious hope. 'You felt him kick?' Penelope nodded, placing a trembling hand on her abdomen, where just hours ago she had felt the faint, miraculous flutter of life. 'He is alive, Rae.'

Rae's eyes softened, but the worry remained etched in the lines of her face. She gently squeezed Penelope's arm, but her concern was palpable, a shadow that refused to lift despite the hopeful news. 'That is indeed a good sign, Penelope,' Rae said, her voice steady but tinged with apprehension. 'But bleeding is serious, even if you felt him move.'

Penelope's relief wavered, the fear creeping back into her thoughts. Rae hesitated as she continued, clearly weighing her words carefully. 'It is possible that everything is fine, but we cannot ignore the blood.'

Penelope's heart sank a little, but she nodded, understanding the gravity of what Rae was saying. The flicker of hope she had felt with the baby's movement was still there, but now it was tempered by the cold reality that there were no guarantees. 'We should call the physician.'

Rae nodded, her expression firm but comforting. 'Yes, I will,' she agreed. 'I will call him immediately.' As Rae turned to leave, Penelope reached out, gently halting her with a touch on her arm. 'Wait, Rae,' she said, her voice hesitant. 'Could we... could we keep this discreet?'

Rae paused, looking back at Penelope with a mixture of surprise and concern. 'Discreet?' she echoed softly. 'Why?'

Penelope bit her lip, her gaze dropping to the floor. Rae normally did not question whatever she said. 'I do not wish to worry Colin,' she admitted quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. 'Not unless we know for certain that something is wrong.'