Stupid Cupid

A shower of condoms does wonders to piss me off

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Excuse the mistakes

Because I'm wonderful, I put another picture of Parker on the side... He's just so cute (I'm a teenage girl, don't judge me)

IMPORTANT MESSAGE IN AUTHOR'S NOTE

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This was one of those things you watched through your fingers, because you were trying to look away, but you couldn’t.

“How does that even fit?” Parker breathed next to me, and I glanced at him to see that he was actually leaning towards the screen.

“Women are magical beings,” I replied slowly, and that’s when the baby’s head popped out of the woman’s hoo-ha.

Mrs. Matthews decided that today was the fateful day that the class was to watch a birthing video. She’d also had the brilliant idea to use the projector, so there was now a wall plastered with the image of a woman giving birth. To add to the uncomfortable atmosphere of the classroom, I was sitting next to Parker.

“Will it go back to the same… shape afterwards?” Parker whispered, and my head whipped around to face him. I slapped Parker in the shoulder, and he threw his hands up with a seemingly innocent look on his face, but I could see right through it. He was amused at my reaction, but I was too embarrassed to care.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the video rolled its credits and Mrs. Matthews turned on the lights. Slowly, I turned around to look at the rest of my classmates, and most of them were completely white with their mouths hanging open. A few guys were laughing, but even they looked sick.

Mrs. Matthews got up to say something about the video, but before she could get any actual words out, the bell rang, signaling the end of the class period. I grabbed my backpack and books, and along with every other girl in the class, stampeded towards the door.

I wanted to get as far away from that video as possible, because maybe then, the flushed look I’d achieved throughout the entire birthing process would go away. If you’ve ever watched a video of a woman giving birth, you should understand where I’m coming from, because that shit is terrifying, fascinating, and disgusting all at the same time.

“Hey, Reed, wait up!”

I thought about speeding up and ignoring Parker, but people were staring, and I didn’t want to give people a reason to think something in our imaginary relationship was wrong. So, I stopped and turned around just in time to see Parker catch up to me.

“If you make any comment about that damn birthing video, Parker, I swear to God,” I said, putting my finger up in warning.

“You swear to God what?” Parker replied, waiting expectantly.

“Um,” my voice trailed off, and I shook my head in frustration, “I don’t know yet, but it will be bad!”

“Oh, I’m sure,” Parker stated, smirking, but he didn’t make a comment about the video, like I’d asked him to. Together, we walked down the hallway, and as we passed my locker, I remembered that I’d forgotten my homework for my next class inside it.

“Hang on a second,” I said, backtracking to my locker.

“What’s wrong?” Parker asked, coming to lean against the locker next to mine.