Bedelia's Dilemma

Healers' Chambers

After I visited with everyone who wanted to see me, I went for a long run in Piedmont Park, but felt guilty, so I didn't run as long as usual. By myself, I knew progs still monitored me. I hadn't mentioned that I have bulimia nervosa. If I binge of pastries and make myself throw up, healers will know. So, I didn't. I just went for my run. Sooner or later, I'll have to talk to Suma about it. Not now!

I waved up a full-length mirror and looked at myself. Becky says I'm not fat, but she's just being nice. Can't find a single nice thing about the way I look. After my run, I'm shaking. Can't be this way in front of healers! But I have an excuse. Keiley. What'll I do when he's awake more? Our minds are linked! Later. I'll think about it later. Or, I'll just find something to do. Maybe I can volunteer as a healer helper. Oh, I felt guilty for going for a run when I should be seeing about my husband! Kept seeing his death, over and over. At least I can just run hygiene to freshen up.

Came back to the yellow Rainbow building, and healers kept asking me questions. What is Earth like? Are there mines? Slavers? I realized they were wondering if Elsie was a slave. Her healer worried about her. "She works so! I tried to get her to walk in the festival, and she wishes to wait! Did one train her so?"

Oh, it was hard not to laugh! I showed them how I worked at jobs and how scared I was of losing that one and having to job-hunt again. Totally foreign to them!

Then I talked to Elsie. "You are taking breaks sometimes, aren't you, Girl? Healers are worried about you."

"'Bout me?" Elsie laughed. "I'm havin' the time o' m'life out here! I love my work, an' it's important, makin' folks feel better! An' I can eat while I do it an' I won't get fat! Calories self-adjust. Ella said dey had it in Rainbow, so somebody wrote it for Alb. It's runnin' on all the worlds! Pirad used people's memories to write 'em, but dese programmers dey had on de ship, made 'em better! All of us had ideas, too." But she lost the happy smile as she looked at all the sleeping people. "I guess I could go see th' festival if I wanted. But Elshar Zheien, dey can get bad fast. I watch everybody's progs with one I wrote. If dey readings get off, I can get Ella to look. Hopin' I'll figure out what she does, soon, so I can do it, too."

Ella didn't even take time to talk. She had a line of programs waiting. A red icon blinked, and she went pale! Stopped what she was doing and passed it to Elsie, who got busy. I looked at the two records. One was King Nitomahan, and the other was Tom. Their readings went down by a lot until Ella did something. All of the records waiting were council members! Another prog had a list of former slaves. They had a column of numbers indicating the number of times a parameter dropped below 50%. Most were in the double digits today.

She and Ella are saving lives. She's scared if she takes a break, someone will die. Whoa.

Kind of like me. Every time I walk out of here, I'm terrified I'll come back and that bed'll be empty, like Micansen's. But I need to do something. I'm not saving lives, just sitting here watching them.

But, Elsie looks at her husband every time he groans in his sleep, and that fear in her eyes—it's not just fear of someone dying, it's him. It's his brother, who has a very worried healer. He got hurt at Sigan Mas, and there went his dream of being a diplomat with Nes.

Fa woke up crying. "Bae! O!"

Keiley hugged him. "I am here, Fa." He has beautiful blue eyes. I stroked his blond hair, that has shades of blonde to brown all through it. Soft hair. He smiles, and my heart just melts!

"I dreamed I lay in the mine and you were nae!"

"Keil, take of bis tia."

"Must I?" Then, he saw me and inhaled 'em.