His Forgotten Ex- Wife

Chapter 21

Karl
 
I felt the ground from beneath my feet being pulled away. I felt like I was falling back into the darkness. She was there in the picture looking happy and smiling.
 
The same smile I had seen so many a times. I could still hear the echo of her laughter in my ears. The laughter when I had walked into the house that night. No, I can't go back to the past.
 
I put my hands over my ears in a tight grip trying to stop the sound that I heard in my brain. I didn't want to remember my past. I had lived it once. I had done everything to bury it, bury that pain that had bled me raw from the inside. The wounds have just started to heal in the last few years when I saw Amelia, met and talked to her. It was her presence that made me want to move on. She had made me want to get better for myself for her and for whatever bond we were sharing.
 
"Fuck no!" I yell whispered. I could feel my breath getting ragged.
 
No, I couldn't think about the past. I couldn't let the pain resurface. I couldn't have it drag me back to the past.
 
The memory of me eyeing the gun flashed through my image.
 
My eyes closed as I thought about feeling the metal on my tongue. I was going to kill myself that night. I was supposed to end what was left of me after she had left leaving me all alone in darkness. It should have happened but I don't know why I couldn't pull the trigger that night. The agony I suffered was driving me crazy. Every day had seemed to be a struggle. Breathing was so hard. I felt numb for one moment and then I thought of her. Just a flash of her face in my mind had me clawing on my heart. All I wanted was to forget about her.
 
That night I should have died yet I survived. I lived to see the next day. There were scars on my body from trying to scratch myself so hard that I had hissed in pain when water had touched my skin. I had tried to claw my heart, scratched my neck so hard that it had bled. I had sobbed in pain and put myself to sleep with a gun beside me.
 
 I was supposed to kill myself the next day.
 
Looking at myself in the mirror I had told myself I would end all of me. I had found a way, found enough courage to end the searing pain that burned me after her. It was going to be my last day on earth. There was this party where I had thought of bidding the last goodbyes to all of my friends and all who knew me. I was going to be in peace as the night crawled in.
 
I had walked to work in a turtleneck t-shirt to hide all my scars. On the outside, I was smiling but on the inside, I was twisting and dying. It had been more than three years since she had been gone but I couldn't forget her, couldn't get her out of my mind.
 
People said I didn't try enough. My therapist said that I was just holding onto the past and wasn't letting it go but he really didn't understand me at all. I had tried. God knows that I had tried with all my might to forget it. Removed all the photos, all that reminded me of her but even then I couldn't forget her. Out of sight didn't mean out of mind. She was always there on the edge of my mind making me remember what all I had lost.
 
I was supposed to kill myself that day but then I saw Amelia. For a moment all I could see was her. She stood there in front of the cameras. There was no smile on her lips that had been colored red. The shiny dark hairs had been styled to perfection in soft curls. The designer gown she wore showed all of her curves and beauty. She was perfect looking, everyone saw her like that but no one saw what was really there. The more I stared at her the more I found myself in her. I could see what no one else could. The dead and rotting of the soul could be seen in her eyes just like mine was. We were rotting on the inside, twisting up and hurting while wearing our masks of perfection.
 
My eyes had followed her all through the night. I was able to breathe as I found her in close proximity. Lucien was the one to introduce me to her. I came to know her name. Amelia. She had looked at me and then given a small smile before getting lost in her head. Lucien had spoken to me as we stood there not a word had fallen registered in my head. All I did was sneak glances at Amelia trying to remember her. She made me feel, the numbness I carried was breaking the more I looked at her.
 
I had sat in the living room with a gun in my hand. Once again I had put the gun in my mouth, tasting the cold metal on my tongue. I had tried to pull the trigger but then the image of Amelia flashed in front of me rather than here. The amber of her eyes was lifeless and yet alive. I couldn't get her out of my mind. I was hurting, the thoughts racing about her about my past clawing on my insides making me cry painful tears but whenever I gathered the courage to pull the trigger Amelia's eyes would flash in front of me.
 
I knew she was suffering just like me. Just like me, she wanted to die on the inside too. She carried baggage that the world couldn't see but I could see it.
 
Letting the gun fall to the floor I wept like a child rocking myself for all I had lost. I cried with all I had, screams ripped through my lips as I let all the agony that I was burning release in the painful cries that left me. All the tears I shed that night were for my past and her.
 
I didn't know why but I couldn't kill myself that night or for all the nights to come. There was something that drew me to Amelia that stopped me from pulling the trigger. In all the pain I suffered she made it bearable. She somehow made me able to breathe through the pain. Maybe it was the knowledge that she needed help as much as I needed it. In the pain, I find solace because deep down I knew she burned in the same agony I did.
 
"Karl," I felt a sting on my face hearing my name in the distance. "Karl," this time I heard it clearly and saw a blur of a moment in front of my eyes before I felt another sting on my face. This time the pain felt harder. I realised that I was being slapped. I was brought back to reality. Joel's hand raised to slap me again as he called my name. He wasn't yelling but worry was written all over his face. He was concerned, really concerned. I don't know what halted him but his hand fell down and I saw him breathe in a sigh of relief. Getting down on his knees he sat there breathing hard while pinching the bridge of his nose.
 
My hands fell down from my ears and I heard his ragged breaths.
 
"And you asked me why we needed to do this at home," his voice filled with frustration but worry was there. Turning my eyes back to the screen I looked at her face. This time I didn't let her get to me. I didn't allow the past to crawl up. I put all my barriers up and thought only about Amelia. She was the only one I was concerned about. If I had her then there was nothing else I needed to worry about.
 
"Heath Wilson's fiance is Sasha," Joel breathed out as he stood up. He was anxious as he came to stand next to me. "Your Sasha," he adds as he puts a hand over my shoulder squeezing it. I stare at the face in front of me. She had grown up was the only thing I had noticed.
 
Who gave her the right to be out, to be able to breathe after what she had done to us, to me? Why was she allowed to live when I was crumbling down? How could she smile after all she had done?
 
"How is she out?" My voice was filled with anger. Who let her out? I needed to know. I put a million dollars a year in charity to the mental facility that had promised me that they would keep her locked inside. The board had promised me that they would do everything to keep her there then how come she was out and breathing? I had put her there. I had wanted her to suffer like he did. Why the fuck she was smiling when all she had to was suffer.
 
"She had been out for the last two and a half years," Joel spoke letting go of my shoulder.
 
"She was supposed to rot in that hell after what she had done to me," I controlled the rage in my voice. I wanted to scream and shout knowing that she was out. I wanted to do all of that but I couldn't, I wouldn't because I had Amelia in the house. I didn't want her to worry.
 
"I know and I'm still trying to understand how she is out. Two and a half years and she has been out," Joel changed to another picture. It was her in an event. The same event that I had even attended. I remember it being the first event that I had attended with Amelia beside me. I had stayed and talked to people that night. Things have started to change between us that night. It was the beginning of us but now it was marred by her presence in our life.
 
"I was there Joel," I breathed out realising how close she was to me. How close she had come to me? She was right there in the event that I had attended Amelia almost a year and a half back. Sasha had destroyed me enough, she had killed all of me. There was nothing left inside of me when it came to her. I had wanted her to rot in a corner for the rest of her life but she was fucking smiling and breathing. How could she even breathe after what she had done?
 
"How could she come so close to me?" I banged my palm on the table feeling the pain.
 
"I don't know. The restraining order is still there, Karl. I checked it. Goddamit I double-checked it. No law, no judge can revoke that after what had happened and there is no clause for it. God, she wasn't supposed to be out and this close to you." Joel said with tension on his face. Joel knew, he knew what I had gone through. He wasn't there with me but he knew everything. He was worried over this too I could see it on his face. Turning around he pinched the bridge of his nose.
 
"I felt a different kind of fear for you and Amelia when I realised that she might have contacted Amelia for the design because of you," as Joel's words registered in my mind I felt the dread settle inside of me. She didn't want the necklace. Fuck she didn't want any of the design. She wanted her, she wanted my Amelia just to get to me. She had approached her for a reason. The realisation was hitting me and drowning me. It was fucking drowning me in a sea of confusion, anger and desperation. I didn't want to lose Amelia. She didn't to be dragged on to this.
 
Getting up from my seat I wanted to push away the screen from the table. I wanted to see Sasha break, and burn through the gates of hell but breaking my computer wasn't going to make that happen. I just turned off the computer. I had to think through the haze of my anger and rage.
 
"I'm sure she knows very well about the restraining order that's why she approached Amelia rather than you," Joel spoke and I nodded in understanding as I took deep breaths trying to control the rage inside of me.
 
 "You need to keep Amelia far away from her, Karl. Get her to leave this project. Do anything you can but keep her away from Sasha because we both know that she will leave behind nothing but destruction behind her," he was concerned more than me.
 
"Hasn't she already begun?" I laughed in anger and frustration. Rubbing my face I stabbed my hands through my hair, suddenly it felt like I was coming undone.
 
"Fuck!" I kicked the leg of the table in front of me hard. The pain was there but it wasn't enough. The desire to throw away things was getting greater with every breath I took. With every second that passed I was able to see what Sasha was doing.
 
"I'm the fucking reason why Amelia's past is coming to her. I'm the reason she is suffering when everything is turning to be better," I banged my hand on the table feeling the searing pain but nothing helped to calm the storm that brewing inside of me.
 
"God, Karl not everything is your fault-,"
 
"It is Joel!" I snapped turning to face him. "It's my fault," I breathed out.
 
"Check the dates. Find out the timeline of when Heath and Sasha started dating I want you to find out everything about her and him. Sasha knew she couldn't approach me at all so she tried to find ways to get to me. Maybe dating Heath was in her plan, to begin with. Tell me is Heath connected to Amelia's past?" I asked even when I deep down knew he was. Everything clicked in the place.
 
"Yes," Joel breathed as realisation kicked in his mind.
 
"I hadn’t found much but just that Heath was Amelia’s ex-husband cousin. No one talks about her much to begin with. She is more like a taboo subject in the family. I’m trying to look for her past but right now Sasha is more of my concern,” Joel looks at me worried. There was something more than that had him worried.

“What is it?” Joel’s expression changed at my question. He was trying to speak something but then he closed his mouth shut. He was really worried about something.

“You are scaring me, Joel,” this was already too much to handle. What else could be looming over me that made him scared to his wits.

“Sasha’s sister,” his words came out in a whisper.

“What about her?” I didn’t remember much about her but that she was there. Even her name I didn’t remember.

“I think Sasha might have done  something to her,” he spoke with fear. “And if that’s the case then we have to get Sasha behind the bars as soon as possible,” he added making me realise that keeping Amelia and myself safe was the priority now.

Hello everyone! I hope you liked the last chapter and love this one. I had pulled an all nighter to get write this chapter.

My fingers are crossed and I have wriiten with all i can right now. I can try to do better and i really hope I'm able to do that. Fingers crossed and holdig my breath.

Thank you to all of you for being here with me.