Hear Me Out (Sebastian Solace X Reader)

First Time 🔪✨️

(Sorry for short chap.)

The knife shook in the grasp of my hands. The metal part of the knife glinting softly in the red lights as I raised the knife above my head, ready to strike down into the neck of the sleeping man before me. I let out a quiet, shaky breath. The air around me dropped in temperature, or was that my own cold sweat? I didn't know which one it was as I was frozen in place.

My hands felt like I couldn't move them to strike down on the man. I wanted to kill him, I had the feeling that I needed his heart to stop by my own hands, but I couldn't move my hands from above my head, I couldn't bring myself to move the knife down onto the sleeping figure. I had to remind myself to inhale air into my lungs as my mind fought with itself.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

The sound of keys jingling and shoes tapping against the concrete floor snapped me out of my own frozen state. I brought the knife protectively against my chest as I listened for the tapping rhythm of footfall against the hard floor. The sound only grew closer, and so I slowly and quietly slinked backward into the corner of the jail cell.

A beam of light was visible in front of the cell door before the holder of the light source was seen. Slowly, a guard came into view, flashlight in hand patrolling the cell room. The guard lazily flashed the light into the jail cell, pointing the light at the sleeping man on his bed.

My heart was beating rapidly. What if he catches me in here? What if the guard figures out I was trying to kill this man?

I could only hope the guard wouldn't look at the corners of the room as I stood with the knife still in both hands, the knife still held closely to my chest. The guard looked for a second longer in the cell, the light of their flashlight almost touching me, but it was quickly pulled away as the guard finally walked past the cell.

I wanted to let out the breath of air that I was holding, but I waited a second longer, listening to the footsteps of the guard fade away. After several seconds of me standing still, I finally allowed myself the air my lungs were getting desperate for. My arms went to my side limply, my left hand keeping a firm grasp on the knife.

Now it was just me and him again. His once loud snoring had quieted down to heavy breathing from his mouth. He moved in his sleep, scratching at his stomach and wiping his face with his grimy hands. The same hands that he used to choke me out. Now looking at his hands they looked almost brown compared to his sickly pale skin, I almost gagged at the fact that those same hands touched me.

I walked back to where I was standing before the guard interrupted. I once again held the knife in both hands, using my hands to steady themselves against one another. It worked to keep my hands from shaking too much as I raised the knife up just like last time. I lined the knife up with his neck. I was aiming for an easy and fatal blow, hoping I could hit the vital arteries within his neck.

Unlike last time my hands were no longer shaking as I looked down at the man in a different way. I forced my mind to think that I was doing the world a favor, that I was killing this waste of air. I forced myself to see the man as a monster among humans, someone that only seeks for his own benefit. A monster that would have killed me if I didn't do it first. Unluckily for him I can't die. (Sadly)

My hands were raised and ready. With one sudden and steady movement the knife plunged down and made contact with flesh and bone. The sound of flesh being cut swifty was quiet but once the knife hit the bone within his neck there was a soft thud of metal hitting the thick bone.

The man's eyes shot wide with terror as his once sleeping mind was forced awake with a knife in his throat. The man opened his mouth to let out scream but all that could be sounded were gargled chokes of pain. Obviously the first stab didn't kill him so I took out the knife and readied for another stab at his throat.