My Little Rants

Personal Space

I've been thinking about this quite a lot lately. Personal space is such an important thing that we don't think about until we're uncomfortable. Like when you meet a person and they're a nice distance away, you don't think: "Oh, this person is adequately distanced from myself." You just talk or whatever until you're done and then you leave, none the wiser that you were even relatively close to that person. I always think about how close or far I am from others, simply because I know what it's like to be easily uncomfortable by people standing too close. So I pay close attention to other people and their facial expression, and make sure to move if they look too closely at our feet or look uncomfortable. Not everyone does that, and that's fine, because not every person you meet will be physically uncomfortable if you're near them. But more and more lately, I've noted that people I know, men especially, are very conscious of that small space in between us. And  I think it rocks.

My neighbor came over to drop off some cookies that his wife made; as soon as he realized I was home alone, he backed away a bit and told me that I can come over if something makes me feel unsafe. (He made sure to say that his wife would be home at all times throughout the day.)

The man I babysit for walked me home because our neighborhood isn't the safest and there aren't any street lights (and I mean NONE) on our street. When he noticed there was no one at my house, he stayed all the way at the street and waited for me to safely be inside, even telling me to be sure to lock the doors just in case. (Also saying I could go to his house (with his children and wife there) if I felt uncomfortable home alone for the night.)

A man walking past me on the street helped to pick up some items that I dropped. As soon as they were in my hand, he backed away to a comfortable distance and responded politely, but without extra flirtation or interest, as I was obviously a bit uncomfortable being alone with him.

And I know what you're thinking, "Well, BT, those are all grown men and they know how to treat a teenage girl appropriately." And you'd be right. But this isn't just grown men. Teenage boys have done this for me too.

A boy at school one day was asking me about some assignment in the hallway, and his friends, being teenage boys, shoved him into me as a joke. When I tensed up, he immediately backed away. After he noticed I didn't really relax that much, he backed away further and told me he was sorry for his friends' actions and that he would talk to me in class where it was more comfortable for me.

In German class during Kein Englisch Minuten, most all the boys keep a distance of at least a foot and a half (about half a meter I think) away from me at all times, and only come closer once I tell them they can. (It comes up more naturally than you'd think because the classroom is very noisy when this happens and we all stand in a circle.)

I guess I'm just saying that these instances are wonderful, and we should appreciate the little things that people do to make us a little more happy in ourselves. And I know an argument to this is that it's just human decency, but I think we still need to appreciate and notice little things, because that's what makes us more happy.

DISCLAIMER: This is mainly focused on men and boys because that's who I feel uncomfortable around. I have noticed women doing this for others, but I don't have firsthand knowledge because I'm really comfortable at whatever distance with people of the female gender.

DISCLAIMER #2: I am focusing on the two 'conventional' genders in this because I haven't experienced other genders really at all because I live in the tiniest village in America known to man.

K bye