The Factory Outlet

Molt

"It's time for you to wake up. It's time for you to embrace reality and accept the world for what it truly is. You cannot retreat to your mind forever."

What is this sensation I feel? This crushing, burning sensation—is this my body's way of flushing out my old habits and mindset? I feel like I'm on edge—ready to burst. Yet, I still hold on to what needs to be let go. What is it going to take for me to finally let go?

I can feel it from my head, down to my shoulders. It hurts. It burns. I don't know how to release whatever's building up inside of me. Though, I so badly want it to leave.

Do I accept whatever may happen afterwards? Yes. I will, and I must. Uncertainty is uncomfortable—often frightening. There shall be no refuge for me to seek.

I'll admit, these times are painful. I'm being forced into a phase of self-reflection. The truth that I've ran away from for so long is that the source of my pain is in my own mind. I seek immediate comfort at the expense of my own growth.

To truly heal, I must remove any and all escape routes. My mind likes to find avenues with the least resistance in order to protect itself. It's fragile and vulnerable.

However, it cannot remain this way forever. I must learn to strengthen my mind, body, and spirit so that I can allow myself to grow and change. I must learn to accept my past as is, live in the present moment, and look toward the future.

It feels like I'm molting like a praying mantis, shedding my old self—my old ways—and in this process of molting, I am soft and vulnerable to the world. This phase is temporary, and over time I just know that I'll grow a newer, tougher mind, just as the mantis eventually grows a stronger exoskeleton.