Survival Instinct // Namkook

chapter 15 - getting comfortable

It had been a few days

since they’d made their way out of the subway and back into the city. The constant threat of danger still loomed over them, but something had shifted between Jungkook and Namjoon. The silence wasn’t so tense anymore, and though Namjoon remained rough and distant at times, Jungkook was beginning to understand him better — even if the older man rarely spoke about himself.

Jungkook sat on the cracked floor of an old building they had holed up in for the night, watching the last rays of the sun fade through the broken windows. The sky was streaked with oranges and purples, casting an eerie yet peaceful glow over the ruined cityscape. In front of him, a small fire crackled, their dinner cooking over it — a couple of cans they’d managed to scavenge over the few days. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.

Namjoon sat across from him, his posture relaxed but alert, his eyes constantly scanning their surroundings, even while they ate. It was a habit Jungkook had gotten used to. Namjoon was always on edge, always ready for something to go wrong. But there were moments — fleeting, rare moments — where Jungkook caught glimpses of something softer in him. A quick glance, a word said with less gruffness. It wasn’t much, but it was there.

Jungkook found himself watching Namjoon more often than not, curious about the man who had saved him, yet remained such a mystery. He still remembered how cold and distant Namjoon had been when they first met, and although he was still rough around the edges, there was a new sense of ease between them now. Jungkook was glad for it — glad that he didn’t have to wander the world alone anymore.

“Feels like we’ve been on the move forever,” Jungkook said, breaking the silence. He leaned back against the wall, stretching his tired limbs as the warmth of the fire spread through the room.

Namjoon grunted in response, focused on his food. “That’s how it is,” he muttered, though his tone wasn’t as harsh as usual. “You stay in one place too long, you get comfortable. Then someone comes along to take it all.”

Jungkook nodded, understanding the unspoken warning in his words. He had already seen what happened when you let your guard down, like when that stranger had held a gun to his head. Even now, the memory of it made his heart race, but he tried to push it aside. Namjoon had protected him then, and somehow, that had changed things between them.

But the older man’s roughness hadn’t disappeared entirely. Jungkook had gotten used to the sudden grabs, the way Namjoon would sometimes yank him out of danger or pull him by the arm without thinking twice. Namjoon’s strength was both reassuring and intimidating. There had been a few times when it startled Jungkook — the force of his actions making him flinch — but he knew Namjoon wasn’t trying to hurt him. It was just how he operated out of instinct.

And strangely enough, Jungkook trusted him now. More than he ever thought he would.

Namjoon had proven himself in ways that went beyond their agreement. He hadn’t left Jungkook behind, hadn’t taken advantage of the power he held over him. Instead, he protected him, watched his back, and even though he wasn’t the warmest person, there was something reliable about him. Jungkook couldn’t explain it, but he felt safer with Namjoon than he had in a long time.

Jungkook glanced at him again, taking in the way Namjoon’s brow furrowed as he stared into the fire, deep in thought. Despite his gruffness, there was something almost calming about his presence now. Jungkook liked the silence between them these days. It wasn’t awkward anymore; it was comfortable.

“I’m glad I don’t have to do this alone,” Jungkook said softly, more to himself than to Namjoon. But Namjoon’s eyes flicked up to meet his for a brief second before he went back to his food.

“Alone’s easier,” Namjoon replied, his voice low and rough. “But I get it.”

Jungkook’s heart skipped a beat at the almost vulnerable admission. He couldn’t tell if Namjoon meant it, but there was something in his tone — a faint trace of understanding, of maybe even appreciation. Namjoon wasn’t one to say much, but Jungkook was learning to read between the lines.

They ate in silence for a while longer, the fire crackling between them, the sounds of the dying city around them distant and muted. Jungkook looked out the broken window, the darkness creeping in fast, swallowing the remains of the sunset. The city always felt different at night, more threatening somehow, but with Namjoon nearby, it didn’t feel as suffocating.

As the night wore on, Jungkook couldn’t help but glance at Namjoon again. He still didn’t know much about the man sitting across from him — his past, his thoughts, his reasons for surviving the way he did. But something about their time together had changed things for Jungkook.

Maybe it was because Namjoon wasn’t just the cold, distant figure he had first thought him to be. There were layers to him, hidden beneath the hardened exterior, and slowly, over the days they’d spent together, Jungkook had started to see glimpses of the person Namjoon might have been before the world fell apart.

And for some reason, that made Jungkook want to stay by his side even more.

“Do you miss it?” Jungkook asked suddenly, surprising himself with the question. He wasn’t even sure where it came from. “You know… the way things were before?”

Namjoon paused, his eyes narrowing slightly as he stared into the fire. His expression was unreadable, as always, but Jungkook could sense the weight of his thoughts.

“Sometimes,” Namjoon said after a long silence, his voice barely above a murmur. “But missing it won’t bring it back.”

Jungkook nodded, biting his lip. He didn’t expect Namjoon to be sentimental about the past, but the answer still felt heavy. They all had things they missed, things they’d lost. Jungkook wondered what — or who — Namjoon had left behind when everything changed.

“You ever think about… what you’d do if things went back to normal?” Jungkook asked, his voice soft. It was a childish question, one that didn’t really have an answer. But he couldn’t help wondering.

Namjoon didn’t respond right away. His eyes stayed fixed on the fire, the flames dancing in the reflection of his dark gaze. When he finally spoke, his voice was quieter, almost reflective.

“Don’t think about it,” Namjoon said. “It’s not going to happen.”

There was no bitterness in his words, just a simple, blunt truth. And Jungkook knew Namjoon was right. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of person Namjoon had been before all this, and what he might have been if the world hadn’t turned into such a nightmare.

Jungkook swallowed, his thoughts wandering as they sat together in the dying light of the fire. He was grateful for Namjoon’s company, rough edges and all. Despite the man's hard exterior, Jungkook had come to enjoy his presence more than he ever expected.