Diary Entries from a 14 year old girl

Diary Entree one

Well its 7:30 pm and we've eaten dinner. Again. Sometimes I think of starving myself though last time my father woke us up in the middle of the night lying to us about my mom cutting her toe open on the shower door. It was actually a check up for me.
My parents aren't letting me go to Warped Tour and all of my friends are going. Why are they rubbing it in my face? Sometimes I want to slam their heads in hardwood dressers to give them a concussion. Then I would take a knife and carve a word in their for heads. The word of what they did to me. Say someone who bullied me would have bully carved in their for head.
I'm a freak.
I plop down on my bed and tow on a set of headphones grabbing my IPod and scrolling through the music. "Black Veil Brides Knives and Pens" perfect song for my life!
The song ends and I go in search of new songs in the store and see a new album. I downloaded it with what money I had left from working carrying shingles up a roof. I scroll through the songs and now I am listening to a new song called "In The End". "In the end as we fade into the night, who will tell the story of your life. And who will remember your last goodbye,cuz it's the end and I'm not afraid to die."
My eyes are wide now. I have never thought of committing suicide. Would it solve all my problems? Or would it cause problems for others? I look at my bracelet covered wrists. Never has a blade touched these wrists though I have considered it a lot.
That's a stupid question. "Who will tell the story of your life?" Your a legend, I think, you don't need to have someone tell the story of your life. Songs state who you are. I'm invisible. I take pills to make me thin I dye my hair and consider cutting my skin.
Then I remember Skylar Grey's Invisible song. "Here inside my quiet hell you cannot hear my cries for help. I try everything to make them see me, but all they see is someone that's not me." I sigh. So much depression in life. Maybe that's enough to write for one day.