Lords Of Midnight

chapter 3

As I settled in my dorm, the familiar feeling of unease crept up. The white walls seemed to be closing in on me. The events of the whole day passed through my eyes like a film. I joined the club just because of my love for literature, hollowwood has no classes on literature, but what if it becomes a base for something more...something that would change me entirely,make me question my beliefs and doubt my sanity?

The whispers of their ex leader Ashley reached me. Maybe that's why they accepted me, to compensate for the absence of their member. Because why else would they want me? I was like a rotten fruit in front of fresh ones, like mud in front of gold, like a dead flower in front of blooming ones, completely useless, ridiculous.

As a group, the members were still intimidating, they looked and behaved like great intellectuals. I was impressed by them, Ethan with his quiet nature, Vivian with her boldness and Atticus with his mysterious aura, they intrigued me especially the ex leader Ashley. What kind of person was she that they were still talking about her? I tried to imagine her, what she would look like, sophisticated, charming and intelligent. Some people have that energy or look to them that they can intrigue you at first sight, even if you look at them for a moment they leave an impression on you. I hadn't met Ashley but I was impressed by her already.

As I sank into my bed, the familiar creak of the mattress echoed in the stillness of the room. Hollowwood was supposed to be a fresh start, a place where I could explore myself but I felt adrift like a ghost. All my life, I've never fitted in, been too quiet for the loud ones, too loud for the quiet ones, too good for the bad ones and too bad for the good ones. I have this absurd sense of inferiority and self loathing, maybe that's why I relate too much to Kafka.

With a sigh, I turned towards my bookshelf, grazing my fingers along the spines of my favorite books. At last, I picked a collection of poetry, flipping through the pages until I found a passage that caught my eye:

"In the shadows we find our truths, in silence, our fears."

Maybe that was it, the key to fitting in, instead of running away from shadows, I should embrace them. They were a part of me, that if ignored, would burn me from my core.

As I closed the book, a deep exhaustion settled over me. My mind was swirling with thoughts but fatigue pulled me to my bed. I closed my eyes hoping that sleep would provide a temporary escape from lingering shadows.

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Next morning I woke up to soft light filtering through the curtains. It was a new day but the same old feeling of uncertainty. I got up in a daze moving through the motion of brushing my teeth and putting on a shirt.

The campus bustled with life, students laughing and chatting, their energy a stark contrast to my mood. I settled in my usual seat grateful for the distraction of lectures. The professor was saying something, but I couldn't focus on it. The day went on, the routine felt grounding, a stark reminder that life would go on even as I navigated my own emotional upheaval.

By the time the classes ended, the sun was going down, creating long shadows across the campus. I walked back to my dorm and threw my bag on the floor.

I couldn't wait for the next Thursday.

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So that's it.

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