꧁sbi family oneshots꧂

🍄Play date🍄

Short description- Technoblade and Dream babysit during a play date for Tommy and Foolish

-

Technoblade was going to lose his mind.

"Don't touch my block tower!" Tommy shrieked, pointing a righteous finger at Foolish.

Foolish raised both hands like a monk in meditation. "I wasn't! You're just being sensitive!"

"I'M NOT SENSITIVE, YOU TAKE THAT BACK—!"

Technoblade sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tommy, I swear, if you launch yourself at him again, I'm building a tower on top of you."

From the couch across the room, Dream let out a low, smug chuckle. "Nice parenting technique, Watson."

Technoblade's eye twitched. "Don't call it parenting. I'm not a parent. I'm a war general. This is babysitting under duress."

"Oh yeah?" Dream leaned forward, elbows on knees. "Then why'd you agree to this in the first place?"

"Because Philza asked me. And I figured it'd be just the kid. Not you."

"Well, I figured Foolish needed supervision. And I didn't trust you not to teach him how to forge a sword or something."

"I make no promises."

Dream rolled his eyes and stood up to stretch. "Unbelievable. Can't even be civil for one playdate."

"Don't start with me, Mask Boy. I can be perfectly civil."

"You tried to fistfight me during a PTA meeting."

"I said maybe a fistfight. And to be fair, you insulted Wilbur's science project."

"It exploded!"

"It was supposed to!"

Tommy and Foolish looked up from their now-toppled tower.

"Are you two gonna kiss or what?" Tommy asked loudly.

"WHAT—"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT."

Technoblade and Dream leapt to their feet at the same time, pointing accusatory fingers across the room like mirror images of disdain.

"I hate him," Technoblade snapped.

"I loathe him," Dream shot back.

Tommy shrugged and returned to stacking blocks. "I dunno. You're both old and grumpy. It's like... the same vibe."

Foolish snorted. "Yeah. You're like rival dads. It's kinda funny."

Dream and Techno exchanged a look. It was the kind of look that said, I will commit a crime in your general direction, but also, this kid may have a point.

There was a long, awkward silence, broken only by the sound of plastic clacking together.

Then Dream sighed and sat back down. "You want coffee?"

Technoblade hesitated. "Only if you don't poison it."

"No promises," Dream said, but he got up and shuffled into the kitchen anyway.

Technoblade stayed behind, watching Tommy whisper something to Foolish and burst out laughing.

"They're... not bad together," he muttered, almost surprised.

Dream returned with two mismatched mugs—one with a chipped "#1 Brother" decal and one shaped like a pig. He handed the pig one to Technoblade with a smirk.