The Protection Program

TPP : Chapter XVIII

She sat up in bed, breathing heavy tears stained to her cheeks. These damned nightmares were gonna be the death of her if she wasn't positive, she pulled the covers from her body and swung her legs around till she felt her feet touch the soft warm carpeting. She wiggled her toes before standing up and taking in a breath, her sight got stuck on the small gold chain that rest gently on the dresser, she shuffled over to it without lifting her feet from the floor and picked it up. The gold heart was warm while the chain itself stay cold, it was always like that. Always.

She walked into the bathroom and stare at herself in the mirror for a long time before looking back down at the necklace. She was indecisive, not knowing what to do, should she wear it? Should she keep it hidden? She knew for a fact that Aubrey would ask her about it because it was a 20 questions type of game when she tried to wear a pair of earrings yesterday, could you imagine if she wore a gold necklace that he didn't purchase or get from his sister? okay, well i'll just try it on, it probably doesn't even fit anymore. She thought to herself before grabbing one end of the chain between each set of pointer finger and thumb, she drew it upwards and wrapped it around her neck before attaching the clasp in the loop. She swallowed hard as she pulled her hand away, tears filled her eyes as she stare at the reflection of the gold chain around her neck, feeling nostalgia of her dream. Standing in the bathroom, looking in the mirror, staring at her necklace thinking about Rashad and what that necklace meant to her.

"NINA, COME DOWN HERE!"

She tore her attention away from the mirror and out into her bedroom, Aubrey called her name and she hesitated about coming from her room. She could just go back to sleep and act as if she hadn't heard him, she was supposed to be mad at him so that made more sense then going down there. But instead she decided to be the bigger person and go downstairs to face him

"Come watch TV with me."

He was laying back in the brown leather recliner as he gestured towards the couch, she couldn't deny his request because she simply didn't feel like speaking up. She could already tell her voice would be cracked from crying and that would be pretty embarrassing because she knew for a fact he wouldn't let that go if he noticed. She shuffled over, pink socks gliding against the cold wood floors, she sat down Indian style as she reach over for a soft blanket on the other side of the couch. She could feel his eyes on her as she snuggled up and leaned back, she was comfortable here, this was home for the mean time so that was the only way she would have to be. She glanced over at him causing him to smile kindly before she stare forward at the TV

"Any movies you like?"

She shook her head no, she wasn't one to watch movies. Before prison she had no time to watch movies and while in prison she wasn't allowed to watch movies, they had basic channels like 2 and 12 and that was it. She looked down at her necklace and began to fiddle with it placidly, she was so busy watching her fingers flip the gold heart around she didn't notice Aubrey staring at her in stupefaction. She lifted her eyes and stare back at him, his lips curl upward a little into a small smile, his down turned eyes becoming chinky. He looked exhausted and anybody could read that, he blinked slowly as they stare at each other, taking in each others features, reading there expressions and body language.

Her heart sped up a little as she stared at him, in this moment as he didn't speak she felt something. She felt something that she hadn't felt about him ever, she hadn't felt about anybody..since Rashad. She didn't know what the feeling was but she tried her hardest to think about what that feeling was because it made her a little perturbed. He licked his lips slowly as he continue to stare at her, it felt like the walls were getting smaller and smaller, closing in more on them and she was gonna get squished. She felt like she couldn't breathe so she broke the look, she looked back down at her necklace trying to forget about that moment they just had because she didn't want that moment to happen, she wanted the feeling to go away and she wanted to forget about it all

"Whats that?"

She looked up at him with raised brows as he stare at her chest, and for the one time she wished it was at her boobs. But it wasn't, the one time he wasn't inappropriately staring was the one time she wanted him to be, he was staring at the necklace which is what she had been dreading. She swallowed as she let go of the little gold heart, it dangled down once again as she stood up

"I'm gonna go to my room, im tired. May i?"

He stared up at her, hurt in his eyes a little. He wanted to chill with her, watch a movie and talk but she didn't want to and that kind of upset him. But he wasn't gonna force her, he wasn't gonna make her stay because that would be wrong, as much as he didn't want too, he let her go. She felt like she couldn't leave quick enough, she rushed out of the living room and up to her room where she lay in bed and try her hardest to not to dream about the immoral.