(A masked man is pouring a glass of milk. Another man is shown walking down the hallway toward a set of doors. As he is let into the room by two guards, we can see that the man is abnormally short. The masked man is dunking what looks to be a small person into the glass of milk)
Lord Farquaad: (stepping forward) That's enough. He's ready to talk.
(Gingy is pulled out of the milk by Thelonious and is slammed down onto a cookie sheet. Lord Farquaad laughs evilly as he walks over to the table. When he reaches the table we see that he is too short to see above it. He clears his throat and the table is lowered.)
Lord Farquaad: (he picks up the Gingy's severed legs and plays with them) Run, run, run, as fast as you can. You can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man!
Gingy: You're a monster!
Lord Farquaad: I'm not the monster here, you are. (throws one leg at Gingy) You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world. (crumbles his other leg into dust) Now, tell me! Where are the others?!
Gingy: Eat me! (spits in Lord Farquaad's left eye)
Lord Farquaad: Ugh! I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll...! (he grabs one of Gingy's gumdrop buttons)
Gingy: No, no, not the buttons. Not my gumdrop buttons!
Lord Farquaad: All right then. Who's hiding them?
Gingy: Okay, I'll tell you. Do you know the muffin man?
Lord Farquaad: The muffin man?
Gingy: The muffin man.
Lord Farquaad: Yes, I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury Lane?
Gingy: Well, she's married to the muffin man.
Lord Farquaad: (Shocked) The muffin man?
Gingy: The muffin man!
Lord Farquaad: She's married to the muffin man.
(A door opens and the Captain of the Duloc Guards steps in)
The Captain: My lord! We've found it.
Lord Farquaad: Then what are you waiting for? Bring it in!
(More guards enter carrying an object covered by a sheet. They mount it on the wall and the Captain removes the sheet. It is the Magic Mirror. Everyone stands in awe)
Gingy: Ohhhh...
Lord Farquaad: Magic mirror...
Gingy: Don't tell him anything! (Lord Farquaad smacks him off the table and into a trash can to silence him) No!
Lord Farquaad: Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?
Magic Mirror: Well, technically you're not a king.
Lord Farquaad: Uh, Thelonious? (Thelonious holds up a hand mirror and smashes it with his fist as a threat to the Magic Mirror) You were saying?
Magic Mirror: What I mean is you're not a king yet. (chuckles) But you can become one. All you have to do is marry a princess.
Lord Farquaad: Go on.
Magic Mirror: (chuckles nervously) So, just sit back and relax, my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And...here they are!
(Bouncy gameshow music begins to play. Using himself as a screen, the Magic Mirror reveals three shadowy portraits of princesses. Lord Farquaad seems confused but watches on silently)
YOU ARE READING
Trolls x Shrek Au
AdventureThis story is about five beast brothers: John Dory, Bruce, Clay, Floyd, and Branch. They all lived in isolation in the swamp in their Grandma's pod. They enjoyed their lives there until a ruler named Lord Farquaad dumped fairy tale creatures in thei...
